


Mindless Love

by killuasexual



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Bottom Killua Zoldyck, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M, Mpreg, Murder, Romance, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Suicide, Top Gon Freecs, Trans Alluka Zoldyck, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killuasexual/pseuds/killuasexual
Summary: Things at the Zoldyck-Freecss manor drastically change when Gon brings home his girlfriend.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck/Zushi, Ging Freecs/Kaito | Kite, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Kikyou Zoldyck/Silva Zoldyck
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter One

"Get up," the white haired male, Killua, demanded. 

"Damn, would you give me a second? Jesus..." his partner breathlessly panted out.

"Get on your feet, Freecss! Look at you, all sprawled out on the ground and weak! We have our first mission tomorrow and you haven't made any progress!" Killua shouted as he kicked his friend across the stone cold floor. The bruised and sweaty boy grunted and wrapped his arms around his stomach in pain. "We don't have much time until the mission. Get. Up. Freecss."

The boy called 'Freecss' rolled on his stomach and pushed himself up with weak, shaky arms. He bent his knees and stood from the ground, glaring at killua. 

“There you go,” Killua praised him, “Now come on, fight me.”

The weaker of the two swiftly pulled his dagger from its holder attached to the waistband of his sweatpants and wiped his arms across his nose, cleaning the blood off. Killua smirked and pulled his dagger out as well. 

“Don’t you think this conversation is a little one-sided?” Killua teased, though his partner was ignoring everything that came out of his mouth. “Oh come on, Gon, don’t do me like that,” Killua faked a frown.

Gon took a few deep breaths before lunging at Killua with his dagger, surprising Killua, but he only slightly scraped the blade across his pale skin, barely cutting his arm. Before Gon had time for a next attack, Killua whipped his body around and slashed his dagger through the air, making slight contact with Gon’s bronze skin. Gon chuckled and jumped back, keeping a four foot distance between them. They walked in a circle, glaring at each other like a hero and villain in a movie. Gon still refused to say anything to his partner. 

“Gonny~ come on, talk to me,” Killua pleaded, feigning innocence.

Gon stopped in his tracks and ran a bruised hand through his wiry, ebony, spiky hair. He sighed and lazily held his dagger out in front of him, pointing the tip at Killua, making him stop in his tracks as well. 

“Killua, I forgot I have somewhere to be in a few hours,” Gon sighed.

“The fuck? Where could you possibly need to be?” Killua hissed, clearly irritated that Gon needed to leave training.

“I have a date,” Gon responded casually, rolling his shoulders up in a shrug. 

Killua’s eyes flared as he angrily gripped his dagger. “You have a date? With who?”

“My girlfriend?” Gon said as if it were obvious, though Killua had no idea about this girl. 

The raven walked over to a chair against the brick wall where his things lay. He picked up his big, white t-shirt and his phone. Shoving his dagger in its holder, Gon threw his t-shirt over his shoulder and sauntered towards the metal door of the dimly lit room. He pushed the door open and slipped out, leaving Killua standing along. 

The pale boy clenched his teeth in anger and threw his dagger at the wall across the room. “Who does he think he is?!” Killua shouted, “Going on a date with some girl?! Not even some girl -- his _girlfriend!_ ”

Killua held his hands in tight fists as he slowly walked towards the chair Gon had set his stuff in and grabbed his own belongings. Huffing angrily, he left the room. 

The sweaty, shirtless boy walked down an enchanting looking hallway to his room. On his way, he ran into his eldest brother, Illumi. 

“Evening, Kil,” he greeted, “Where is Gon?” Illumi asked, his dark and empty eyes looking down at Killua with a blank expression etched across his face. 

“That bastard went out on a date,” Killua hissed.

“Gon? On a date? Without you? So who is it with then?”

“His girlfriend.”

Illumi had to hold back his slight gasp. “G-girlfriend? You mean Gon is-”

“Yeah, I guess so. Well, looks like I’ve lost my chance with him…” Killua trailed off, looking down at his feet as he slowly and sadly shuffled them. 

Illumi placed a hand on Killua’s emotionally heavy shoulder, making Killua lift his head with teary eyes to look at him. “Have you seen yourself, Kil? You’re attractive, you’re funny, you have a great personality. Who wouldn’t want that? I think you need to just show Gon how you feel and what you’re… _capable_ of. You’ll get him, I promise.”

Killua nodded his head at Illumi’s heartfelt words. He gave a soft, weak smile before shrugging Illumi’s hand off his shoulder and walking passed him, going up to his room. He climbed the staircase and opened the creaky door of the dim room that belonged to him and Gon. Without bothering to turn the lights on, Killua shut the door behind him, cringing at the unpleasant sound it made, and trudged into his shared bathroom. He stripped out of his pants and boxers and opened the blurry glass door to the white tile shower. Killua stepped inside and slid the door shut before pivoting on his heel and turning the hot water on. He began to rinse all the sweat and dirt off his body and felt himself calm down as the water pelted his back. Sighing, he tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. 

“Fuck you, Gon.”

\-----

Gon stepped into a small cafe that him and his girlfriend agreed to meet at. He took a seat at a white circle-shaped table and waited patiently for her. Not long after he arrived, his love did as well. 

In walked a beautiful girl with porcelain skin, ruby red lips, and long, jet black that stopped just before her waist. A few of her beautiful black locks hung in front of her shoulders, dancing and swaying with each step she took. She wore different pastel colored butterfly clips in her hair and small brown, fake freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. 

She looked around the small cafe, searching for her boyfriend. Turning her head left and right, she eventually found him and happily trotted over to the table. She sat in front of him, a blush on her cheeks as she shyly tucked a piece of ebony hair behind her ear.

"Hi, beautiful," Gon said, smiling at the lovely sight in front of him. Her blush deepened as her small nimble fingers picked at a loose string on the sleeve of her sweater.

“Hi,” she giggled, flicking her eyes up to meet his loving gaze. She always found herself blushing and giggling and smiling around Gon. She was definitely in love with him, and Gon loved her back just as much, if not more. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it, love?” Gon asked, sliding one of his hands across the table, placing it atop of hers to stop her from picking at her sweater. It was a bad habit that she had. 

“Yeah, it has. I’ve missed you,” she mumbled bashfully, holding Gon’s hand in return.

“I’ve missed you as well, Violet."

Gon always loved her name. Violet. It just fit her. Her eyes even had a hint of violet to them. They were a dark black but whenever she got extremely happy, Gon swore he saw a flash of violet. And she was always happy. It's one of the things Gon admired about Violet. The only time Gon really saw her down was when her mother died. She was devastated, obviously. Her mother was her best friend and her dad left her when she was a baby. 

"So what do you want to do after this?" Violet asked, her soft and sweet voice making Gon's heart flutter. 

"I plan to take you back home with me for a night," Gon answered, a light pink blush creeping along his tan, freckled cheeks. 

Gon and Violet had never gotten intimate before and he never would without her full consent but today was special, their one year anniversary, and Gon wanted to show her just how much he loved her. 

Violet's eyes widened in surprise as she cocked her head to the side. "Your h-home? I don't know..." She averted her gaze and looked at the table. Gon's grip on her hand briefly tightened, bringing her attention back to him.

"Baby, it's okay. Nothing will happen to you if I'm there and I won't let you out of my sight," Gon promised. He could tell she was still uneasy and not sure about the whole thing. "Violet," he said calmly, "It's okay, I promise." His soothing voice always made her feel safe. She nodded her head and shifted her eyes from Gon's to their hands. 

"Okay, I'll go with you," Violet agreed, softly smiling. 

Gon cheered. "Thank you, Violet! I promise I'm going to make tonight memorable. I'll make your first time staying at the house amazing," He sheepishly smiled, triggering Violet's blush. He was nervous for their first time but they both knew they were ready.

Soon enough, after the two had been talking and catching up for a few minutes, a waitress stumbled upon their table. 

"Good evening you two," She greeted, taking her notepad and pen out from her short, black skirt, "What can I get you?"

"I would like a peppermint tea with a blueberry scone, Miss..." Gon's eyes searched her body for a name tag, "Miss Kanaki." He have her a soft smile and turned his attention to Violet, "What would you like, love?"

"The same as you," she whispered shyly. Gon looked up at the waitress and smiled as a way to pass on the message. The waitress nodded her head and jotted down their orders before tucking her notepad and pen back in her skirt and walking away, leaving the couple alone again.

"Are you excited to meet Killua?" Gon suddenly asked.

"I'm not really ready to meet any of them," Violet answered truthfully, "with your profession, you're not supposed to have lovers outside of the business." Her bright, happy expression dimmed, but she still had a smile on her face. 

"Yes, that's true, but they can't do anything about it. They know if they were to hurt you, Killua and I would kill them," Gon said casually.

Violet nodded, though she wasn't too sure that was true. She was deep in her thoughts about what all would happen at Gon's house when their order arrived. The waitress set their food and drinks on the table and left to take care of other customers. Gon and Violet began to talk about everything that has happened in their time apart while they ate. 

"So, Violet, guess what?" Gon asked, a big smile on his lips.

"What's up, Gon?" She returned the expression as she held his hand from across the table and munched on her scone. 

"My first mission with Killua is tomorrow. We're getting a lot of money for this one. It's supposed to be a big deal though, like a big group of drug dealers," Gon lowered his voice to continue the story, "and they've taken some girls hostage. They've been passing them around like sex dolls. So Killua and I are being sent there to kill the leaders and bring the girls to the authorities."

Violet looked at Gon with wide eyes as they simultaneously leaned forward in their seats, getting closer to each other. "You mean," she whispered, her eyes darting around to see if anyone was close by to listen, "like prostitutes?" 

Gon nodded his head. "Yeah, it made me so mad when I first heard about it. Passing girls around like their some kind of sex toy? It's so disgusting. I would kill the leaders even if it weren't for the money. They all deserve to die." Gon clenched his jaw in anger just thinking about it and Violet nodded her head in agreement. She too was angry at the men. The two didn't understand how people could just take girls, have non consensual sex with them, then pass them to someone else in the group to continue the cycle. It's revolting. 

The couple finished their food and left the small cafe. As they were walking down the sidewalk, looking around at all the tall stores and businesses in the town, Gon slipped his hand into Violet's and held it tight. A deep crimson blush stained her porcelain white cheeks. She smiled and rose to her tippy toes, planting a sweet kiss on Gon's cheek. Gon smiled and spun her around, grabbing her by her waist and attacking her with sweet little chaste kisses all over her face. His lips found their way to Violet's and he passionately kissed her, leaning their bodies over in the process. After a few long seconds of the adorable PDA, Gon pulled away from Violet and stared deep into her black eyes. 

"I love you, Violet Tonaki," Gon said, his words smoothly rolling off of his tongue. Violet found herself trapped under his romantic spell.

"I love you, Gon Freecss," she blushed, leaning her head up to plant a small kiss on his nose.

Gon stood them both up straight and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Let's go home, yeah?"

Violet happily nodded, not caring what the Zoldyck's thought about her anymore. As long as she was with Gon, nothing but him mattered to her.


	2. Chapter Two

Gon and Violet arrived at the Zoldyck-Freecss estate in less than thirty minutes. Gon could've called Illumi or Killua to come pick them up from town but he wanted to spend more time with Violet while walking. He also knew taking walks was one of Violet's favorite things to do. She loved being outdoors, another thing Gon adored about her. 

The lovely couple stepped through the big, tall doors of the mansion where they were immediately greeted by Alluka, Killua's younger sister. 

"Gon!" Alluka beamed, "Welcome back! Is this Violet?" She smiled and waved at Violet. 

Violet nervously moved closer to Gon. Gon rubbed his thumb against her side, letting her know that everything was okay and she's safe. "It sure is," Gon answered, "Violet, this is Alluka, Killua's little sister."

Violet shyly smiled at Alluka and reached a hand out. 

Alluka happily took Violet's hand and shook it. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Violet! Gon has told me so much about you!"

Alluka's statement made Violet furiously blush. She took note that her boyfriend talked so much about her and it made her feel all giddy inside. She smiled at Gon as he pat Alluka's head. This much was true, Gon did tell Alluka everything about Violet, but he never once mentioned her to Killua. Alluka knew how much Gon truly loved Violet and how much she meant everything to him. Violet was Gon's entire world. 

Alluka stepped out of the doorway and allowed the couple to walk through. "Gon! Killua's is in y'all's room!" Alluka beamed, walking the opposite direction of Gon and Violet, into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Alluka," Gon called out, shutting the front door. He led Violet upstairs to his room, both of them receiving and giving small kisses on the cheek every other step. Gon swung the door to his and Killua's room open, walking in on a very angry Killua. The ivory haired bale jolted up from the bed and glared at Gon. 

"So you told Alluka about her?! You couldn't bother to tell me?! I thought you trusted me! We're partners! Best friends!" Killua shouted, tears pooling in his eyes. As much as it hurt Killua to call Gon his 'best friend' because he wanted to be more than that, he understood Gon was happy with Violet, and part of him didn't want to mess that up for Gon.

"I'm sorry, Killua. I just didn't think you'd care. I told Alluka because she asked if I took a liking to someone," Gon said in a soft voice, trying to calm his angry friend.

"How long have you two been together?! How long has this been a secret?!" Killua yelled, his voice breaking.

"Well," Gon started, pulling Violet closer to him and smiling at her, "today's our one year anniversary."

Killua felt his heart shatter. His angry expression quickly shifted to disbelief. "A y-year?" He asked quietly. 

Gon nodded his head, not noticing the depressing state Killua was in. He kissed Violet's nose and happily nuzzled his against hers. Killua watched as Gon pulled her in for a short kiss. He hated the scene that played before him but couldn't avert his eyes. 

"And I plan to show her just how much I love her tonight," Gon said after he pulled away from the kiss. Violet tucked her head into Gon's shoulder while he stroked her hair. "We'll take the spare bedroom downstairs so we don't have to bother you," he softly chuckled.

Without giving a response, Killua stormed out of the room, his head down and his bangs covering his glassy, red eyes. Gon watched in confusion but shrugged it off.

"I guess we'll take this one instead," He said, turning to Violet and giving her a smile before shutting the door and locking it. He grabbed Violet by her waist and lifted her up into the air, making her yelp and giggle, her cheeks stained a deep red. Gon gently laid her on the bed and began to softly and slowly kiss under her jawline, making Violet feel raging butterflies in her stomach. Gon's gentle kisses began to turn her on, making her wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her slender body. Gon lifted his head and slowly attached their lips together while sliding his hands down towards the hem of her lavender sweater. He slipped them under the knitted top and softly caressed her stomach, making Violet visibly shiver. Gon swiped his tongue across her bottom lip, making her whimper into his mouth. She parted her lips and allowed Gon to slip his tongue inside her mouth, gliding the two pink muscles across each other. Violet softly and quietly moaned into Gon's mouth, vibrating his tongue. He grunted in response and moved his hands up further. They slid to her back, making her subconsciously arch it to give him access to the latch of her bra. His hands searched around for the small metal piece and once they found it, they slowly undid the latch. Gon's hands traveled back to the hem of her sweater and pulled it off of her, briefly pulling his lips away from hers to remove the shirt before smashing them back together. 

Killua pulled himself up to his feet and trudged away from the door of his room, tears streaming down his blank face. Hearing Gon's grunts and Violet's moans only made his situation worse. He felt empty. His heart repeatedly clenched in his chest. His lips were swollen and bloody from anxiously gnawing on them. 

He walked upstairs to Illumi's room on the third floor and knocked on the door.

"It's open, Kil," Illumi called out. Killua walked in and shut the door behind him. 

"How... did you know... it was me?" Killua asked in between heavy sniffles. 

Illumi softly chuckled and met Killua's blurry gaze. "You're the only one who knocks. Now come sit," he said, patting the spot beside him on his bed. Killua nodded and traveled further into the dark room that was dimly lit with red LED lights. The broken-hearted seventeen year old sat on his brother's bed, immediately falling into his arms, sobbing. Illumi held his younger brother and softly stroked the back of his hair, slowly rocking side to side. "Shhh, it's okay, Kil," Illumi cooed quietly. 

Killua shook his head and hiccuped. "It won't be okay! They're up there fucking in our room!" He shouted into Illumi's shirt, tightly gripping it. Illumi shushed him again and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Kil. I'll take care of her once they fall asleep," Illumi whispered, still gently swaying his brother left and right. Killua was far too upset to understand what Illumi was getting at so he just nodded his pounding head. 

After an hour and a half of tears and loud sniffles, Killua fell asleep in his brother's arms. Illumi noticed his little brother stopped crying and slowly wiggled out of Killua's grip before laying him on his bed. Illumi rose from the mattress and walked across the dark room to his dresser by his door. He opened the top drawer and reached inside, pulling out a white, carved wooden box. He set it atop his dresser and opened it, revealing numerous needles and a beautifully carved dagger. Illumi grabbed a handful of the shiny, golden needles with big, round tops before taking the dagger, throwing it up in the air and swiftly catching it. He shoved the handle in his left back pocket and examined the needles, making sure they were all in perfect condition, which they were, and shoved those in his right back pocket. He stepped in front of his door and turned the bronze knob, opening the barrier. Before he walked out, Illumi turned his head over his shoulder to look at the black silhouette in his bed and smiled, knowing his brother will be happy soon. 

Illumi quietly left his room and trailed downstairs through the dark house. It was night. The moon shone throw the large windows of the hallway. Illumi's long black hair swayed left and right with each step he took, making it seem as if his locks had a bit of an attitude. Shortly, he stumbled upon Gon and Killua's room. Illumi put his ear to the door to see if Gon and his girlfriend were still up. He didn't hear any lewd noises so he assumed they were asleep. He tried quietly rattling the doorknob, but of course it was locked. He pulled a needle from out of his back pocket and crouched down to get eye level with the doorknob. Slowly and carefully, Illumi worked the needle inside the keyhole and jiggled it around a little before he heard a click. He stood up straight and slowly opened the door, cringing at the loud creak it made. He hoped it didn't wake Violet up. Illumi knew Gon was a deep sleeper so he wasn't worried about him. Hell, that boy could sleep utterly peacefully through an earthquake. 

Once in the room, Illumi froze to make sure Violet was still soundly sleeping. When she didn't move, he continued creeping in. Illumi quietly walked over to Gon's bed where the two slept and noticed they were both naked. Of course they were. He scrunched his nose in disgust and wanted to kill Gon right there but refrained from doing so. The mission was to take Violet, not kill his brother's future lover. 

Illumi took the needle in his hand and spun it around his fingers before grabbing the round top and taking a step back. He aimed the tip of the needle directly at Violet and in the blink of an eye, the golden needle was sticking out of Violet's forehead. He rolled the sheets off of them, exposing the two naked bodies. Illumi picked the girl up and threw her over his shoulder. He covered Gon back up and gathered Violet's clothes from the floor. He decided he'd change her into them when they got to his desired location. Illumi turned on his heel and sauntered out of the room, shutting the creaky door behind him as he hummed a random tune. He tended to do that when he was in a good mood.

Illumi carried the girl downstairs and approached at the basement. He grabbed the silver handle to the big metal door and took a step back to brace himself and open the door. He pulled it open and slipped inside, hearing the big heavy door slam shut right behind him. The room Illumi brought Violet to was dark and cold, much to his liking. 

Illumi dropped Violet's exposed body into a wooden chair in the middle of the room. He began to clothe her, trying to refrain from slapping and punching an unconscious body. It didn't mean anything if it didn't hurt. Once she was fully dressed, Illumi tied her to the chair with some nearby rope and walked over to a table in the corner, covered in torture items. He browsed his options with his hands behind his back but nothing really peaked his interest. He wasn't here to torture Violet to teach her a lesson, he was here to kill her. He sighed and walked back to the chair in the middle of the room, slipping his dagger out of his pocket and holding it by his side. Illumi eyed Violet's unconscious body with a blank face but almost disgusted expression. He reached his hand forward and yanked the needle out, making her jolt awake with a gasp. The needle had been keeping her body asleep so he could do all the things he needed to do without her waking up and yelling for Gon to help her. Her head quickly turned left and right, frantically trying to figure out where she was and who the tall albino towering over her was. 

"W-Who are you?" Violet asked, goosebumps rising to the surface of her skin.

"Who I am isn't important and this isn't personal, you're just the reason for my brother's sadness so I must take care of you," Illumi said casually, rolling his shoulders up in a brief shrug.

"W-What do you mean?" Violet questioned, her voice cracking in fear.

Illumi sighed. "You see, Kil is deeply in love with your precious Gon. He wants to be with him and have a life with him and have a family with him, but you," Illumi held his dagger up in front of him, pointing the tip of it right between Violet's eyes, "you are stopping Kil from having all that. All he wants is to be happy with the boy he has been in love with for years."

Violet gulped as she took in all this new information and cocked her head to the side. "So he's a faggot?"

Illumi's eyes flared, anger clouding over them as he slapped her across the face and grabbed her by her throat. "What?" he growled, narrowing his eyes. 

Violet began to panic as tears welled up in her dark eyes. "P-Please don't kill me! I-I'm sorry! And I love Gon! Please!" She begged, thinking it would change Illumi's mind and he'd let her go, though his only made him angrier. 

"I know you love him!" Illumi shouted, startling her, making the tears stream down her porcelain cheeks. "That's the problem! Your love for Gon is going to kill my little brother! Do you think I care about your worthless life more than my own brother's happiness? Tch, as if! I'll kill you twice, three times before I care about your love for Gon!" Illumi's grip on the dagger tightened as he clenched his jaw. Violet sat there, trembling in her seat. Illumi threw his dagger to the side and forced out his claws, "It'll be easier to kill you with my hands," he whispered through clenched teeth. Before Violet had time to react, Illumi scraped his long, sharp claws across her throat, making four big gashes. He watched as blood poured out like a waterfall. Violet's eyes flared as she tried to breath. She began to choke and cough up blood, though you couldn't tell which came out of her mouth and which came out of her throat. 

Illumi retracted his claws and turned his back to her, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He began to think of a way to get rid of her body and remove every trace of his act before the sun came up. Gon and Killua had their first mission tomorrow which was only a few hours away. Illumi pulled out his phone from his front pocket and turned it on, squinting his eyes are the bright light from the lock screen. He turned the brightness down and searched through his contacts, looking for the person he knew could take care of this for him. He clicked on the call button, knowing the other would be awake. Illumi held the phone to his ear and listened to the dial tone until it cut out.

"Ging?"


	3. Chapter Three

"Ging?" Illumi spoke into the phone.

"Yeah Illumi, what's up?"

"Are you still at the estate?" Illumi asked as he rolled his shoulders up and tilted his head to the side, trapping his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could untie Violet.

"I am, why?"

"Can you take care of something for me? I need to get rid of this girl's body before Gon wakes up and realizes she's gone," Illumi said, wiping some of Violet's blood off his hands on her pants.

"Violet? She's dead?" Ging asked, his voice monotone. 

"Yeah," Illumi answered, tossing the bloody rope onto the floor.

"You killed her?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. I didn't really like them being together because you're not supposed to have lovers outside of the business," Ging said.

"Agreed, and Killua loves Gon so I did this for him so they can be together," Illumi told him, walking in slow circles around the dead boy.

"That's sweet. Okay, I'm assuming you're in the dungeon. I'll be down there in a sec, hold tight." 

Ging hung up. Illumi shoved his phone in his pocket as he stared down at the girl below him. He scoffed and averted his eyes elsewhere, waiting for Ging to show up. 

Ging stepped inside the basement only minutes later, carrying a big black trash bag. Illumi watched as he walked over to them and slid Violet into it. 

"You know," Ging started, almost snorting, "it wasn't that hard. A simple trash bag would do. You didn't need me."

"Oh shut up," Illumi growled, "I asked you because you'd be able to hide it from Gon better than I would."

Ging nodded in agreement and threw the bag over his shoulder. "Who all knows about this?" He asked, motioning his head to the body in the bag.

"Just you, Kil and I," Illumi answered, pointing at Ging and himself. 

Ging nodded again and started towards the big metal door. "If your plan doesn't work and Gon rejects Killua... well, I'm sorry. I know killing doesn't take too much energy out of you but I know your goal was to make Killua happy so if the plan goes to shit, I'm really sorry."

Ging's heartfelt remark briefly shocked Illumi. "Ah, I don't need your sympathy and pity," he softly chuckled, "Gon won't reject Kil. I know it."

"I sure hope so. Well, I'm off," Ging said, placing his hand flat on the door before pausing. "When do the boys wake up to leave?" 

Illumi flicked his left wrist in front of him and looked at the time on his watch. "It's twelve forty-five right now, so I'd say in about two hours."

Ging nodded and pushed through the door with Violet over his shoulder. Illumi soon followed after and walked back upstairs to his room. He slowly pushed the door open and watched as the dark figure that is his brother began to stir. He quietly shut the door behind him and trotted over to his bed. Illumi placed a cold hand on Killua's back and softly shook him. 

"Mm..." Killua groggily groaned, not wanting to wake up just yet. 

"I know, I know, but you have a mission," Illumi whispered, a small, amused smile taking over his lips. "You and Gon are getting lots of money for this. Go make us proud, yeah?"

Killua slowly nodded and pulled the blankets further over his head. Illumi chuckled and grabbed hold of the blankets.

"Killua~" Illumi whined, "Get up~"

Killua groaned again and turned on his back, pushing the blankets off of him. 

"Good morning, sleepy head," Illumi teased.

Killua grunted in response and rubbed his eyes with loose fists. He let out a loud, drawn out yawn and slowly sat up, hunching his back over and dropping his hands in his lap. Illumi smiled and walked away from his bed, heading to his dresser. The box of needles was still resting on top of it. He pulled the handful of needles out of his pocket, along with his dagger, and gently placed them in the box, shuffling them around so they'd go back to the way they were previously. Satisfied with how they looked, Illumi closed the box, latched it shut, and set it back in the first drawer where it belonged. He hadn't heard shuffling on the bed or Killua groaning in a bit, so he turned around to check on him, only to see a peacefully sleeping Killua. Illumi sighed and began to giggle as he walked back to Killua. 

"Nope," He said, ripping the covers off of Killua and throwing the boy over his shoulder. Killua groaned in annoyance and wiggled around in Illumi's grip, trying to get free. "Yep, come on."

Illumi carried Killua out of his room and downstairs to Killua's room on the second floor. He cautiously opened the door due to Gon still being fully undressed. He walked in and laid the sleepy Killua on his bed next to Gon's, and walked back out, quietly shutting the door behind him. 

Killua, now fully awake, sat up in his bed and turned his head to the right, watching as Gon slept peacefully in his own bed with no idea about what has happened to his beloved. Killua didn't really have any idea what happened to Violet either. Illumi never informed him. But he knew something bad happened, and a part of him felt guilty, like it was his fault. Sighing, Killua rose from his bed and walked over to his dresser. He pulled out a black turtleneck with black sweatpants and black socks. He figured there'd be a lot of blood since their mission was to assassinate a whole drug cartel. Once dressed, Killua walked over to the blanket-covered Gon and slowly peeled them off of him. 

"Come on, wake up, Go-" Killua stopped, unable to continue speaking as his cheeks grew hot at the sight of Gon's bare back. Sure, Killua had seen Gon shirtless many times before, but each time, he got all flustered and nervous. It was worse during training. Seeing Gon's back muscles and his beautiful bronze skin color made Killua's heart flutter and his knees almost buckle. Gon was so beautiful in Killua's eyes, and he was dead set on making him his. 

Gon shifted in his sleep, probably about to wake up. Killua's eyes were entranced by Gon's muscles as they rippled under his skin with each movement. He subconsciously reached a hand down to feel the strong muscles but quickly snatched his hand back when Gon moved his arms underneath him and pushed himself up as if he were doing a push up. Killua took a few steps back, watching as Gon sat up straight with his knees under him, making the blankets slide off of his back and completely expose him. Though Gon wasn't phased by this at all and didn't care if Killua saw him naked, Killua's heart was racing and his mind was hazy. He let out a brief gasp before whipping his body around and giving his own _clothed_ back to Gon. The groggy boy rubbed his eyes and released a high pitched yawn, which Killua found adorable. Gon looked to the right of him where he expected to see Violet and cocked his head to the side when she wasn't there.

"Where's Violet?" Gon asked to himself. Killua felt his heart drop for two reasons. One, he now knows what Illumi meant last night. Two, Gon is going to be utterly crushed.

"Ah! She, uh..." Killua quickly added himself to the one-person conversation, "she already left. Yep. Illumi told me. Something about her mom needing her back home immediately."

Gon nodded his head then slowly stopped and furrowed his eyebrows, turning to Killua though his back was still towards him. "Her mom died..." Gon said, now growing suspicious.

Killua's eyes widened as his body froze. He cursed at himself under his breath and quickly tried to come up with another excuse. "Oh? Did I say mom? I uh, I meant aunt... or something. I don't really remember. Illumi told me what she said and you know he's not very good at remembering what people say," Killua nervously chuckled. He tried to walk away, but his legs denied of him doing so. 

"Her aunt? That's so weird. Her aunt doesn't associate with her," Gon said before shrugging it off and standing from the bed. He stepped onto the cold, wooden floor and shivered at it's touch. Gon walked passed Killua to his dresser to get out clothes for the mission. Killua found himself eye raping Gon's lower half and cursed at himself again, telling himself to stop, but he couldn't take his eyes away. He felt hot blood rush to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Killua quickly turned around and listened as Gon dug clothes out of the drawers. "You ready for the mission?" Gon suddenly asked, startling the already very nervous Killua.

"Y-Yeah, I guess as ready as I'll ever be," he responded.

"I don't know why you made us spar so much if we're just going to use our claws and daggers. We could easily slit all their throats in under a minute, you know, Killu?" Gon asked, stepping into a pair of black boxers.

"It's to help you get stronger, idiot," Killua giggled, starting to calm down, "and besides, they might be really strong. We don't know who these people are."

"Oh?" Gon raised an eyebrow, "Are you saying you're afraid they'll be stronger than you?~" he teased.

"No, you idiot, I'm just saying we don't know who they are and what they're capable of," Killua hissed, making Gon chuckle, now slipping his shoes on.

"Well, come on. Get your dagger and let's go," Gon said, grabbing his own dagger from the top of his nightstand. Killua hummed and gathered his dagger and phone from his bed. The two boys left their room and trailed down the long, dark hallway. Gon and Killua slipped out of the doors of the mansion and stopped in front of the line of cars in the driveway.

"Which one are we gonna take?" Killua asked.

Gon completely disregarded his question. "What time is it?"

Killua blinked at him. He rolled his eyes and took his phone out of his back pocket. "One forty-two," he answered.

Gon nodded. "I think we should just walk."

"Walk? I mean okay I guess, but why?" Killua asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

"Just feel like walking," Gon answered, starting down the trail to the gates at the end of the road. Killua followed after him, looking up at the night sky coated in stars. "Killua," Gon called out, making Killua turn his attention away from the pretty sky and over to Gon.

"Hm?" he hummed, letting Gon know he was listening.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about Violet," Gon said, feeling a bit guilty. Killua was his best friend after all and he didn't even have the decency to tell him about his girlfriend.

"Huh? Oh, it's fine," Killua mumbled, not wanting to even hear her name. He looked back up at the starry sky.

"No, honestly I feel bad. I should've told you. You're my best friend and my partner and-"

"Gon, stop," Killua cut him off, making Gon stop in his tracks. Killua stopped a few feet ahead of him and turned around to look at Gon.

"Stop what?" Gon asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Just... just stop talking about her. It's fine, I promise," Killua whispered, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him. The sensation of hot tears welling up in his eyes made him turn back around and keep walking. Gon soon followed after, jogging a bit to catch up with his friend. The rest of the walk down the road was silent. Gon was oblivious to how Killua felt at the moment. The two boys reached the gates and left the estate, starting their walk to their destination.

"Killua, how do you know where to go?" Gon asked, wondering how Killua knew where their mission was located. 

"Because I read the information papers, idiot. You obviously didn't," Killua hissed.

Gon chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, guess I forgot," he said. 

Killua rolled his eyes as they walked into the quiet, dark down. It was early in the morning still, around two thirty, meaning everyone was asleep. Except of course, Gon and Killua, and their targets. 


	4. Chapter Four

Gon and Killua stumbled upon their destination, a large warehouse. Killua walked up to the front doors and pulled on them. Locked.

"Great," Killua scoffed, "Looks like we have to find another way in."

"Why are you mad, Killu?" Gon asked, placing a hand on Killua's shoulder, "This is our first mission! We finally get to kill people! Aren't you excited?"

"Yeah, sure I'm excited but... I don't know. I don't really care for killing people I guess," Killua shrugged

Gon was taken back. "W-What? You, you don't care about killing people? First of all Killu, these people are bad people. They've taken girls and passed them around like dolls! We're doing the world a favor! Second, we're getting lots of money for this! That should be exciting on its own. Third, I'm sure the rush of killing is like no other! My adrenaline is already racing!" Gon beamed, trotting away from Killua and examining the exterior of the building, searching for any other easy entries. 

"Well, I just don't think it'll be all that fun. I don't know," Killua mumbled, watching as Gon suddenly ran down the side of the warehouse, leaving Killua by himself. "Hey, wait!" He called out. Killua ran after Gon, irritated at him for leaving without saying anything.

"Look, look, look!" Gon squealed, pointing at an open window on the second floor and smiling at Killua.

"Okay, and how do you expect us to get up there?" Killua asked, rolling his eyes. 

"You can push me up so I can go downstairs to the front door and open it for you!" Gon beamed, running towards Killua, grabbing his hand, and pulling him back to the window.

"You're taller, why wouldn't you pick me up?" Killua asked, clearly not understanding Gon's motives. He didn't even think Gon understood his motives.

"No time for questions, Killu!"

Killua sighed, "How am I supposed to get you up there, anyway?"

"I can climb on your shoulders!" Gon smiled at him. 

Killua stared at that stupid, pathetic smile before nodding. "Yeah, alright." He crouched down and placed his hands on the brick wall to balance himself, "Climb on."

Gon happily stepped onto his shoulders and placed his own hands on the wall to keep himself up as Killua slowly rose from his crouched position. He stood there patiently staring at the brick wall while Gon peered inside the window, turning his head left and right, looking for any signs of other people. 

"I think the coast is clear," Gon said, looking down at Killua, "I'ma go in and unlock the front door for you."

"Okay, just hurry up," Killua told him.

Gon nodded and grabbed hold of the window frame. He pushed himself up off of Killua's shoulders and onto the windowsill where he sat and looked below him for something to jump and land on. He hopped down onto a table against the wall and quickly slid off, running towards the stairwell. Killua turned and made his way to the front doors, waiting for Gon. He impatiently kicked a few rocks around and waited until the door finally swung up. Killua looked up, seeing a very happy Gon.

"I found them! I found them!" Gon beamed, his arm outstretched behind him, pointing inside the dark warehouse.

"Found who?" Killua asked, walking up the few steps to the doors.

"The girls! I took out the drug dealers! They were too easy, not much of a threat," Gon giggled, moving to the side so Killua could walk in. "Come on, come on!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Killua sighed as he stepped past Gon and walked into the warehouse. They trailed down a gloomy hallway that was dimly lit by the moon shining through a few broken windows. Gon led him to the room where he killed the dealers. Killua scanned his surroundings in the dark room. There was a lantern in the middle, illuminating the entire area and making shadows of the people there. Killua noticed two dead men on the ground, lying in pools of blood, and six terrified girls. Each girl was chained to the wall, their hands above their heads in a v-shape. They had very little clothing if any at all. Mostly just a bra and ripped underwear.

"Hey, we're gonna get you out of here, alright? We won't hurt you. We're here to help," Gon said, slowly inching towards the girls with his hands raised in the air, showing them he had no intention of harming them. The girls were still trembling against the cold brick wall. The poor young women had bruises and scrapes all over their bodies.

"T-The oth-others..." One of the girls spoke, her voice barely there. Gon assumed she lost it from screaming so much.  
The two boys made their way to the girl that spoke. The closer they got, the more scared the girl became.

"Hey, it's okay, ma'am. We swear we aren't here to hurt you. We want to help you. Now, what do you mean 'the others'?" Gon asked, lifting a hand to her cheek and slowly caressing it to help her calm down. 

The girl took a deep breath and slowly looked up to meet Gon's soft gaze. "T-The other m-men. They s-should be back soon. They were out doing a j-job and get-getting more girls," she told them.

Killua stepped up to the girl and looked over to Gon's gaze. He could see the anger building up in his eyes and Killua couldn't blame him. This enraged him as well. Gon clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down so he could talk to the girl. 

"How many more girls?" Gon asked, removing his hand from her cheek now that she was mostly calm. The girl only attempted to shrug her shoulders. "We'll get you somewhere safe, okay? No one will hurt you anymore," Gon promised. She nodded her head. Just as Gon was about to speak again, his phone rang. He smiled at the girl and mouthed, 'hold on', before answering the call. "Hi, dad!" Gon beamed, a big smile on his lips. Killua thought nothing of it, only figuring it had something to do with the mission.

"Gon..." Ging spoke, his voice soft and gentle, much different from his regular tone. Gon cocked his head to the side and turned to look at Killua. Killua only shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah dad, it's me! What's up?" 

"She..." Ging paused for a moment, "She's gone, Gon." 

Gon wasn't sure what his father meant. Still smiling, he asked, "Gone? Who's gone, dad?" He giggled, smiling at Killua. 

"Violet."

The second Gon heard that name, his heart dropped and his smile vanished.

Gon shook his head. "Okay dad, that's not funny. Seriously, we're in the middle of a mission, I don't need-"

"I'm not joking, Gon," Ging said. Gon could tell by his voice that he was serious.

"W-What do you mean she's gone, though? Violet isn't dead. She went home to see her aunt. Illumi said so."

"She's gone, Gon. I'm terribly s-"

Gon hung up. He felt his knees buckle and weaken under him. His legs gave out and he would've fallen if it hadn't been for Killua rushing over and holding him up. 

"Gon," Killua said softly. His heart was quickly pounding in his chest and he felt horrible. Sure, he wanted Violet gone, but now that she's actually gone, Killua feels so shitty.

Gon didn't respond. He couldn't bring himself to talk. Tears pooled in his eyes and stung them. His jaw was clenched and his limbs were weak. Killua pulled Gon into a tight embrace and stroked the back of his hair as Gon choked on a sob and cried into Killua's neck.

"I'm so sorry, Gon," Killua whispered. 

Gon tightly held onto Killua as if his life depended on it. Quicker than Gon could even register it, his sadness turned to anger, and Gon was ready to kill. He didn't care who. 

Just as Gon felt his anger rising and escalating inside him, the front doors to the warehouse flew open and whimpers were heard throughout the building. 

The other men were back, and they brought more girls. The second they stepped foot into the room before anybody had time to react or much less blink, Gon was out of Killua's grip and standing in front of the men. Without even a second thought, Gon forced his claws out and slit the three girls' throats. With his vision still blurry from rage, Gon snatched his dagger out of its holder and lunged at the first guy in front of him. The two other men were still frozen in shock as Gon made his way to them. He didn't hesitate as he sliced their throats all at once. Gon dropped his hand to his side, letting the blood drip onto the stone floor of the room. Now the only one left standing frozen in shock was Killua. He didn't think Gon was capable of this, killing the people he was so pent up about saving without even a second thought. 

Gon looked around at all the dead bodies on the floor as they bled out. He crouched down next to one that looked like he was still breathing.

"Gon, stop!" Killua shouted, rushing towards Gon.

Gon ignored him and lifted his dagger high in the air, before plunging it directly into the man’s stomach countless times.

Though he knew it was dangerous, Killua crouched down behind Gon and placed a hand on his shoulder, tightly gripping it. "Gon, stop!"  
Gon shoved Killua backward, making him fall on his butt. Gon continued to stab the man, though he was no longer alive by now. Killua quickly stood up and tackled Gon to the ground from behind. He laid on top of him and began to silently cry as he held Gon's body to the floor. 

"Stop..." Killua whispered, "Please... stop..."

Gon's anger began to wither away as he laid there under Killua, staring at the cold, stone floor beneath him. Killua grabbed Gon's dagger and slid it across the floor to the other side of the room to ensure both of their safety. He wasn't sure what else Gon would do right now. Killua shoved his arms under Gon's body and held him tightly as he rested his chin on Gon's shoulder, his tears soaking Gon's shirt. Gon too began to silently cry, his body felt weak and unstable, his head was pounding and his mind was spinning.

"K-Killua..." Gon whimpered," K-K-Killua..."

"Y-Yes, Gon, I'm here, w-what?" Killua answered. He couldn't help the excessive amount of tears streaming out of his eyes just from hearing Gon's heart-broken voice.

"V-Violet... Violet's dead! She's gone! I-I can't breathe... I can't breathe!" Gon panicked.

Thinking Gon couldn't breathe because he was laying on top of him, Killua quickly rolled off and helped Gon stand up, holding his body so he wouldn't crash back down to the ground. 

Gon began to hyperventilate. "K-Killua!" Gon cried through wheezes, "Killua! Help me! Please!"

Killua stared at him with wide eyes. He wasn't sure what to do.

"No... She's not gone..." Gon said quietly before erupting into a fit of loud, psychotic laughter through his quick and heavy breaths. "She's not dead!" He tightly grabbed Killua's shoulders and shook him back and forth as he shouted, "Violet's not dead! Violet's not dead!"

Killua was horrified, to say the least. Gon has gone absolutely mad. Killua hadn't even noticed he was still crying until Gon brought a delicate hand to Killua's cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. Gon looked at his thumb as his laughter quickly faded and his eyes narrowed. 

"Are you crying?!" Gon shouted at Killua, making him flinch. "Are you fucking crying?! How dare you, Killua! Did your girlfriend die?! Why the fuck are you crying?! How fucking dare you!" Killua couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his cheeks, and Gon's yelling only made it worse. Gon grabbed Killua by his chin and pulled him closer. "You selfish bastard!" Gon let go of Killua and roughly shoved him, making Killua stumble backward. 

"Gon... come on, plea-"

"Shut up, Killua! Shut up!" Gon growled, turning around, giving his back to Killua. He looked down at his hands as he tightly clenched them in anger, his nails digging deep into his skin. Killua silently walked up behind Gon, ready to make his move. "I'm gonna kill whoever-"

Killua swiftly chopped the back of his neck, knocking him out and making him collapse to the ground. At this point, Killua had forgotten about the girls and honestly didn't care about them. He grabbed Gon's dagger from the other side of the room and crouched down next to Gon. Killua lifted him and threw Gon over his shoulder, before bolting out of the warehouse.

Killua ran all the way back home with Gon on his shoulder. He busted through the front doors and rushed past Illumi, going straight to his room. He shut and locked the door and quickly but gently set Gon onto his bed. Killua stood there beside Gon, knees bent, hands on his thighs, back hunched over, as he tried to catch his breath. Technically, they completed the mission. Saving the girls wasn't apart of the deal. All they had to do was kill the men, and they did so, so they'd get the money. 

But money wasn't what was on Killua's mind right now. Instead, Gon's happiness, health, and overall well-being were. After seeing Gon go crazy like that scared Killua, almost a little too much. Killua had never seen Gon go completely berserk like that before. Sure, Gon wanted to kill and was excited about it, but what he did back there was not like him at all. It's almost as if someone took over his body and made him do those things. 

After catching his much needed breath, Killua ripped off his shirt and threw it on the floor, disgusted by the way the fabric stuck to him due to his own sweat. He tossed Gon's dagger onto his nightstand and slowly trudged to the two switches on the wall by the door to turn the fan on. He walked back over to his own bed and plopped down on it, his chest slowly rising and dropping. Killua turned on his side and watched as Gon slept peacefully. His tan cheeks shimmered and glistened from the stained tears. Killua frowned at the foreign sight. 

Tired of lying in his own filth, Killua decided to get up and take a warm shower to cool his nerves. He quietly got up from his bed and walked to the bathroom, stepping in and shutting the door behind him as he flicked the light on.

Killua stripped out of his clothing and grabbed a towel from the closet. He placed the big towel on the closed toilet seat and slid the shower door open. Killua stepped inside and locked himself in. Pivoting on his left foot, Killua faced the faucet and turned the water to its highest setting, not planning to stay in there too long. 

After Killua's accidental long shower, he unlocked the door and stepped out onto the rug, reaching over and grabbing the towel from the toilet seat. He wrapped it around his waist and took a glance at himself in the mirror before leaving the bathroom and immediately spotting Gon who was sitting up on his bed, looking down at his thumbs as he slowly twiddled them. Killua heard soft crying. Frowning, he approached Gon, not caring that he wasn't dressed, and sat next to him on his bed. Killua draped an arm over Gon's shoulders and pulled him closer. Gon fell into Killua and immediately began sobbing. Killua found one of Gon's hands and gently held it as he slowly rocked side to side like Illumi had done with him. 

"She's gone," Gon cried, his body trembling in Killua's arms, "It wasn't a dream. Violet is dead."

Killua wrapped his other arm around Gon and situated their bodies so they were fully sitting on the bed and Killua was tightly hugging him. Gon's tears soaked Killua's shoulder and his hands tightly held onto his back, afraid that if he let go, he'd die.

"Gon..." Killua whispered, beginning to tear up himself, "I'm sorry..."

The two didn't speak for a while, they just listened to each other's heartbreaking cries. Killua pulled away from the tight embrace and cupped Gon's cheeks, staring into his glassy, red eyes. In the heat of the moment, Killua gently pulled Gon's face closer and attached their lips together. Not even a second into the kiss, Gon shoved Killua and stood from the bed, looking at him in disbelief. 

"How dare you..." Gon whispered. Killua immediately regretted what he did. "How dare you..." he repeated. His hands curled into tight fists as he looked down at the ground and clenched his jaw.

"Gon, I'm sorr-"

"You don't get to apologize!" Gon shouted, his head jerking up to look at Killua. "How fucking dare you?! My girlfriend is dead and you try to make a move on me?! Are you kidding me?!"

Tears pooled in Killua's striking blue eyes. He reached a hand out to Gon. Gon quickly snatched his body away and turned his back to Killua, walking to the door of their room.

"Wait! Gon, please! Wait!" Killua begged, jumping up from the bed and standing frozen as he watched Gon whip his head around and glared daggers at Killua.

"I hate you, Killua..." Gon whispered, countless tears staining his beautiful tan skin.

Killua's eyes flared. "Gon, you don't mean that-"

"I fucking hate you, Killua!" Gon shouted, his voice breaking mid-sentence. 

"Gon, please..." 

"Fuck you, Killua," Gon finalized before walking out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him. Killua slowly turned to sit on the edge of his bed. He hunched over and propped his elbows up on his knees, burying his face in his hands, choking on a sob. 

Gon walked down the hallway, glancing out the window. The morning sun was barely peeking above the clouds. Gon's face held a blank expression as he stared directly in front of him. He figured nobody was awake because it was still quite early, that was until he saw Illumi and Ging at the end of the hallway, just before the stairs. 

"Gon?" Ging asked, starting to panic. 

"Father..." Gon managed to squeak before rushing into his father's arms and sobbing into his chest.

Ging just stood there. He couldn't bring himself to wrap his arms around Gon. He turned his head to Illumi, who was staring at Gon with a slight frown. 

"Ah, um... it's okay... um..." Ging didn't know how to comfort him or what to say. He brought a hand up to Gon's back and awkwardly pat it a couple of times. 

"I-I'm not friends with Killua anymore!" Gon cried, beginning to hyperventilate again.

"Why aren't you two friends?" Ging asked, genuinely concerned.

Gon's breathing was quick and shaky. His hands and legs were trembling and his mind was spinning. Ging bent his knees and brought Gon to the ground, allowing him to sit and calm down. Ging rubbed circles on Gon's back and softly hummed while Illumi stood and watched, looking down on them. Ging gave Gon time to bring himself together and explain everything.

"S-So, when I woke up, I remembered everything and realized it wasn't a d-dream! And I started crying and Killua came out of the bathroom and he saw me. He came and sat next to me and tried to calm me down. I was crying in his arms and then suddenly, he cupped my cheeks and kissed me! He fucking kissed me! I pushed him away and stood from the bed, not even really believing that it happened. I was so angry at him. I told him that I hated him, well, more like screamed it. I stomped out of the room and left him. I don't know what he's doing now. I feel bad but how dare he?! I just lost my girlfriend and he makes a fucking move on me! I'm so mad at him, father, but I don't want to lose him." 

Ging sat and listened, taking everything in. "That's understandable. You had every right to walk out on him, but I don't think you should've told him you hate him. I think you should go talk to him," Ging suggested.

Gon's eyes flared. "What?! No! I can't... I've already made such a mess of our friendship." Gon looked down at the ground between his slightly spread legs. 

"Gon," Ging said in a soft voice, "go talk to him.." Gon hesitantly nodded his head and tried to push himself up from the ground, only for his shaky legs to deny him. Ging grabbed hold of Gon's arms and stood on his feet, pulling Gon up in the process. "Gon, look at me." Gon slowly turned his head to look at Ging, his chocolate brown eyes clouded with stinging tears. "Go talk to him. He's your best friend. Set things right."

"You're right," Gon mumbled, averting his gaze from his father's just in time for a tear to slip down his cheek. 

"I usually am. Now go!" Ging said, giving Gon a little push of encouragement, making Gon stumble. His shaky legs barely carried him to his room without him collapsing. Gon opened the door, nervous to meet Killua, only, he wasn't there. Confused, because Gon didn't see or hear him leave the room, Gon called out to him.

"Killua?"

Killua barely heard Gon's call as he collapsed onto the white tile floor in the bathroom. Gon heard a thud and ran over to the sound. He grabbed the handle of the bathroom and shook it, but it was locked. 

"Damn!" Gon panicked. He frantically looked around the room, searching for something to unlock the door with. He remembered Killua kept bobby pins in his dresser for his hair. Gon rushed over to Killua's dresser, grabbed a pin, and dropped to his knees beside the door. He shoved the bobby pin into the keyhole and jiggled it around until he heard a click. Gon threw the door open and quickly stepped inside, finding Killua lying unconscious on the floor with a pool of blood under him, his tank top and boxers soaked in the crimson liquid. Gon yelped and ran to kneel beside him. He noticed Killua's claws were extracted and big bloody chunks of his skin were underneath. He grabbed Killua's wrist and flipped it over to examine it, seeing numerous bloody gashes were going up the boy's arm. "Killua!" Gon shouted, his heart racing a mile a minute. He dropped the arm and placed a hand on Killua's back, roughly shaking him. "Killua! Stop, this isn't funny! Wake up! Killua!" Gon felt tears rush down his cheeks but he paid no attention to them. He frantically looked around for something to do in this situation. "Damn it, Killua! Why would you do this?!" He lifted Killua into his arms and ran out of the room, almost slipping due to the blood. Gon ran down the hallway, not exactly sure of where he was going. His loud sobs echoed through that part of the house as he dashed to the front doors, deciding he'd risk everything and take Killua to the hospital, but before he could reach the exit, Ging and Illumi found him.

"K-Killua?!" Illumi's eyes widened as he ran over to Gon, who stopped in his tracks and turned to face them. Illumi watched in disbelief and fear as blood dripped onto the carpet below them. 

"Look, I have to get him to a hospital right now!" Gon shouted, his tears landing on Killua's cheek.

"What?! No, you can't take him there!" Ging protested, "We can take care of him here!"

"Who here knows how to fix this?! I have to! Please! Let me save Killua!" Gon begged, looking at Ging with teary eyes. 

Ging backed down and dropped his head. "Go."

Gon quickly nodded and Illumi opened the door for him, letting him run out of the mansion and down the trail to the gates. Killua was losing more blood from his countless scrapes as Gon carried him to the hospital. He didn't know how he was going to avoid being figured out, but he didn't care at the moment. He needed to save Killua.

Gon rushed through the hospital doors and frantically looked around, searching for a doctor. "H-Help! Please! Help Killua!" Gon cried, rushing in all different directions.

A nurse came up and quickly examined the boy in Gon's arms before meeting his gaze. "What happened?" She asked, turning her head and waving down another nurse. 

"I-I don't know! I found him like this!" Gon looked down at Killua and felt his heart clench, "P-Please take him!"

Gon held his arms out in front of him, allowing the nurse to take him. She turned around and placed him on a rolling bed that another nurse brought. Gon followed them as they rushed down a bright hallway to a vacant room. They moved Killua to a bed and started to fix him up. The nurses stripped him of his clothes, bandaged him, pumped more blood into him, and clothed him in a hospital gown, all while Gon sat in a nearby chair and silently watched. When the nurses finished their task with Killua, they gave Gon a small smile and left the room to let Killua rest.

Gon leaned forward and grabbed Killua's small, pale hand, gently cupping it with his own big hands. "Why did you do this, Killua?" Gon whispered, looking up to Killua's closed eyes. His eyes traveled down to Killua's chest and watched as it slowly raised and dropped back down, then repeated the process, showing he was indeed alive. Gon softly smiled as his eyes trailed back to Killua's colorless face. Gon intently stared at him with a loving gaze, and that's when he realized just how beautiful Killua really is. He gave Killua's hand a little squeeze before situating himself in the chair by propping his left leg over the arm and the right leg pressed against that one, his back leaned against the other arm and his head rested on the top of the chair. Gon interlocked their fingers before closing his eyes and falling asleep. 

Meanwhile, the family, besides Ging and Illumi, had no idea about what happened to Killua. Ging had cleaned up the blood in the bathroom and Illumi had gone to his room, pacing back and forth and trying not to hyperventilate. He wanted to go to the hospital and check on Killua but they'd definitely get caught if he did, so he stayed. Alluka and Kalluto were in the kitchen making dinner for themselves, Milluki was cooped up in his room, and Kikyo and Silva were out on a mission. Illumi sat on his bed and called his boyfriend, Hisoka. 

"Hello?~"

"H-Hisoka..." Illumi choked out. His voice was shaky and quiet. It was obvious that he was crying. Hisoka realized this was serious and dropped his act. 

"Illumi? Hey, babe, are you okay? What's going on? Why are you crying?" Hisoka asked, his voice filled with worry.

"I-I think K-Killua tried to kill, kill himself," Illumi attempted to swallow the lump that was caught in his throat, "He's in the hospital right now with Gon."

"Okay, I'm on my way. I'll be there shortly, just sit tight, alright?"

"O-Okay, thank you," Illumi whimpered.


	5. Chapter Five

Killua's eyes slowly fluttered open. His vision was blurry and his head hurt like hell. 

"Where am I?" He mumbled. Killua weakly lifted his head and looked around, taking in his surroundings. He turned to his left and spotted Gon, peacefully sleeping. Their fingers were loosely interlocked and soft snores were heard coming from Gon. "Gon?" Killua whispered, shifting his hand in Gon's, feeling a sharp pain shoot through his arm. He hissed in pain and looked down at his arms, seeing bandages wrapped around every inch of his porcelain skin that the hospital gown didn't cover. "Oh, that's right," Killua remembered why he tried to kill himself because Gon hated him. So why was he here, sitting next to Killua, holding his hand? Killua shook his head, dismissing the thought, not wanting to think about any of that right now. He looked up to Gon's tear-stained face and frowned, "Please don't cry over me," Killua whispered. He shifted in the bed, scooting down so his head could comfortably rest on the pillow. Killua turned his head to look at Gon again, taking in his beautiful features. "I don't deserve you, Gon," came another whisper from Killua. He gently squeezed Gon's hand and rubbed his thumb against the back of it. Killua turned his head and looked up at the white ceiling while Gon's eyes began to open.

"Killua?" Gon sleepily whispered.

Killua's head turned to Gon and met his gaze. Killua softly smiled, his heartbeat began to quicken in his chest just looking at Gon.

Gon gripped Killua's hand as he stood from the chair and gently threw his arms around Killua. "Killua," he whispered close to his ear, "Please don't ever do that again. I can't lose you."

Killua felt tears well up in his eyes as he nodded. "I'm sorry, Gon."

Gon briefly pulled away from the embrace to sit Killua up. He sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist again. Killua ducked his head into the crook of Gon's neck, weakly lifting his arms around Gon.

"I've already lost one person I love, please don't let me lose another," Gon said quietly, his voice breaking mid-sentence.

Killua's eyes flared as he pulled away from the hug. "W-What?"

"I love you, Killua. I really do," Gon said, pulling Killua in for a third hug, his hands lovingly rubbing up and down Killua's back. Killua nuzzled his face into Gon's neck and felt a tear slip down his cheek, landing in the crook of Gon's neck. "Killua, are you crying?" Gon asked, pushing Killua away to look into his beautiful blue eyes. "Why are you crying, Killua? Please don't cry. Please be happy." Killua nodded as he tried to smile, but tears fell down his cheeks and his bottom lip curled up and quivered. A huge lump formed in Killua's throat as he tried to hold back his oncoming sob. Gon smiled and cupped Killua's cheeks, causing Killua to let a tear slip. "Let it out, Killua."

Killua broke down. He fell into Gon, soaking his shirt with his tears. Gon pushed his fingers into Killua's ivory white hair and massages his scalp, slowly rocking side to side. 

"I'm so sorry, Gon!" Killua choked on his tears, tightly gripping the back of Gon's black hoodie. 

"Shh, it's okay, Killua. You're okay. Everything's okay," Gon reassured him, leaning Killua up to kiss his hairline. "When can you leave?"

"I don't know," Killua started, opening his watery eyes to look up and meet Gon's gaze, "we can ask when the nurse comes back."

"I didn't tell them you tried to kill yourself so you shouldn't be put in a mental hospital or anything. And the scrapes on your arms didn't look like a razor caused it so I don't think they thought anything of it. But when they come back, they might ask you what happened so we'll probably have to think of something or say that you were already passed out before anything happened," Gon told him, tucking a piece of Killua's hair behind his ear. Killua nodded and leaned into Gon's touch.

"How about we just escape?" Killua asked, "We didn't give them any information on us so we can just run and they can't do anything about it."

"What? Killua, no. You have to stay and get healed," Gon said, shaking his head. 

Killua lifted a hand and placed it on Gon's cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth. "Gon, let's go home." He tilted his head to the side and stuck out his bottom lip, looking at Gon with big puppy eyes, "Please?"

"Jeez, Killu, don't give me that look," Gon frowned, "Are you sure you're good to go?"

Killua nodded and jumped off the bed, hopping from one foot to the other, smiling at Gon. "Look, look! I'm okay!" He giggled, grabbing Gon's hand and dragging him off the bed. Gon was surprised, but followed along, letting Killua pull him onto his feet. The two boys stood close together, Gon slightly looking down on Killua since he was a few inches taller. Killua gazed into Gon's eyes. Gon subconsciously grabbed Killua by his waist and pulled him flush against Gon, making Killua gasp. Gon smiled down at Killua as he took one of his small, pale hands and placed it on Gon's shoulder. He took Killua's other hand and interlocked their fingers, holding their hands level with their biceps. Gon slowly rocked side to side. Killua's face flushed as he looked up at Gon, watching as he leaned down and planted a kiss on Killua's forehead. Killua gasped and took a step back, his blush spreading to the tips of his ears. 

"G-Gon?" Killua stammered, his heart beginning to race. 

Gon smiled and pulled Killua back against him. "Don't run away from me, Killua," he said just above a whisper. Killua slowly nodded his head, ducking his head into Gon's chest. Gon looped his arms around Killua's waist and rested his chin on his head. "Let's get you outta here, yeah?" Gon whispered into Killua's ear, his breath tickling Killua's colorless skin, making him visibly shudder. 

Killua nodded, gripping the back of Gon's hoodie. Gon slid his hands out of Killua's and grabbed his tiny index finger. He gently twirled Killua around before grabbing him by his waist and leaning their bodies over like he had done with Violet a few days prior. Killua yelped, his eyes wide and his cheeks stained scarlet. Gon gazed into Killua's big blue eyes, feeling as if he could drown in them. His heartbeat began to quicken as his lips dangerously hovered over Killua's. Gon felt himself leaning forward but abruptly stopped and stood them back up. He locked fingers with Killua and sauntered towards the door, Killua following behind him. Gon opened the door and stuck his head out into the hallway, looking left and right, checking to see if anyone was watching them. The coast was clear. Gon gently squeezed Killua's hand and ran out of the room, down the hallway, to the front doors of the hospitals. Gon and Killua slipped through the glass sliding doors as they heard nurses calling out to them. Gon looked back and Killua who was smiling and giggling, trying to keep up with Gon. He faced forward and let go of Killua's hand, running faster ahead of him. Killua laughed, pushing himself to run faster, his skinny legs carrying him far away from the hospital.

Once they felt they were far enough away, they slowed to a steady walk, their breath coming out in heavy pants and their faces flushed from the cold weather. 

"Damn," Killua breathed out, "When did it get so cold? I mean, I get that it's late November but still." 

Killua shivered from the chilly wing, his short-sleeve hospital gown not providing any warmth at all. Gon, however, was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt with the same color hoodie over it. He noticed Killua's hands flying up to his biceps, quickly rubbing them up and down to create friction. Gon slipped his hoodie off and handed it to Killua, not bothering to turn his head to look at the pale boy. 

"Here, wear it," Gon said, jerking his hand a little to catch Killua's attention. 

Killua hesitated before slowly taking it. "Aren't you cold?" he asked, slipping the hoodie on. 

"Not as much as you are," Gon answered, shoving his fists into the pockets of his ripped jeans. "There's no way you aren't freezing in that gown, so wear my hoodie."

Killua nodded and slid his fists into the pocket. The hoodie was quite large on him. It hung down to his mid-thighs and the sleeves ran past his hands. Killua balled the excess fabric into his small hands. Killua crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his shoulders, trying to keep himself warm. Gon slowed his pace so Killua could catch up, pulling his phone out to look at the time. 6:47 in the evening. Gon turned to look at Killua. 

"Hey, do you wanna go get something to eat?"

Killua blinked at him as he continued to walk towards Gon. "Gon, I'm not wearing shoes, I'm dressed in a hospital gown, and I have bandages going up my arms. I look like I just escaped a mental hospital or something."

"Nah, I'm sure they won't care," Gon waved his hand in the air in dismissal. 

Killua now stood in front of him. "We can just eat at home. Now come on, it's cold."

Gon sighed but draped an arm over Killua's shoulder as they continued walking. "You know I'm not gonna let you out of my sight anymore, right?"

Killua's eyes flared as he turned to look at Gon. "What?"

"That means sleeping in the same bed and stuff like that," Gon said, noticing Killua's cheeks flush out of the corner of his eye. 

"W-What about when I'm using the restroom?" Killua asked.

"Even when you're using the restroom," Gon confirmed, making Killua groan in embarrassment.

Gon and Killua took the long way home, so they arrived just a few hours before midnight. Most of the children were in the living room on the third floor playing video games or ping pong, while ging rolled blunts in his room. Gon led Killua into the kitchen and sat him down at the table. 

"Are you going to make dinner?" Killua asked, watching as Gon threw the door to the fridge open. 

"Yeah," Gon looked at Killua over his shoulders, "What, do you think I can't cook?"

Killua threw his hands up in defense. "I didn't say that. I just didn't know you could cook."

"Killua, I literally help Alluka with dinner almost every night," Gon rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the contents inside the fridge. 

"Really?" Killua asked, "Is that why the food is always so bad?" he teases.

Gon chuckled. "Is that why you always ask for seconds?"

Killua grumbled. "Fine."

Gon and Killua sat down in the first-floor living room with their plates of chicken. Gon propped his feet up on the glass coffee table and reached for the remote. "Whatcha wanna watch, Killu?"

"Hm? I don't mind, you could put on a movie if you want," Killua answered, scooting closer to Gon. Gon lifted an arm and let it fall over Killua's shoulders. 

"How about a scary movie?" Gon asked, turning his head to look at Killua. Getting his approval, Gon began to scroll through Netflix, searching for a scary movie. Killua nibbled on his chicken while he watched Gon click on a family-favorite horror movie.

"Gon, I love this one!" Killua beamed, nuzzling his head into Gon's neck. Gon smiled and dropped the remote by his side, lifting his plate of chicken from his lap so he could eat. 

Halfway through the movie, Killua needed to use the restroom. He wiggled out of Gon's arms and set the plate on the coffee table before standing up. Gon immediately stood up as well, putting his plate on the couch beside the remote. 

"You're coming, aren't you?" Killua asked, heat rising to his cheeks. 

"Yep," Gon nodded his head. 

Killua sighed and towards the bathroom beside the staircase with Gon following behind him. He pushed the door open and turned to look at himself in the mirror, hearing Gon shut and lock the door behind him. Killua stepped in front of the toilet and lifted the seat up, shutting his eyes out of embarrassment. 

"This is so humiliating. Please just... don't listen," Killua begged. 

Gon chuckled and lifted his hands to plug his ears. Killua sighed and opened his eyes, lifting the gown and hoodie up and sliding his boxers down. The whole time he used the toilet was just awkward. He felt weird and wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. 

Killua finished and cleaned himself before fixing his clothes and flushing the toilet. He stepped over to the sink and bumped his hip against Gon's butt, scooting him over so he could wash his hands. Gon let his arms drop to his side as he turned around and stood behind Killua. He subconsciously wrapped his arms around Killua's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. Gon flicked his eyes up at looked at Killua in the mirror as he rinsed the soap off of his hands. Killua's cheeks flushed as he stared into Gon's eyes.

Gon remembered how he used to do the same thing with Violet. Memories of the girl flooded his mind and he backed away from Killua, feeling stinging tears well up in his eyes. Gon dropped his head as his breathing began to quicken. Confused, Killua turned around to look at Gon. 

"Gon?" Killua asked, drying his hands off on the hoodie.

"I-I'm sorry, Killua," Gon managed to choke out before tears raced down his cheeks. 

Killua quickly wrapped his arms around Gon's torso, tightly hugging him. "It's Violet, isn't it? I'm so sorry, Gon. I'm here, you can talk to me," he said softly, trying to calm Gon. Killua rested his head on Gon's chest and could hear how fast his heart was racing.

Gon needed to take his mind off of her. He didn't want to think about Violet right now. He needed an outlet, anything to make him forget. He gently grabbed Killua's chin and lifted it, making Killua look up to Gon. Gon leaned down and attached his lips to Killua's, startling Killua, making him yelp. Gon moved his lips in between Killua's, irritated that he wasn't kissing back. Gon slipped a hand under Killua's gown and slid it up Killua's body to his chest, where he gently thumbed at one of Killua's nipples, making him gasp into Gon's mouth. Gon took that opportunity to slip his tongue into Killua's mouth as he grabbed his hips and pulled him flush against Gon. Killua hesitantly began to react, rising to his tippy toes to deepen the kiss. He lifted his arms around wrapped them around Gon's neck, tilting his head to the side and smiling against Gon's mouth. Gon slid his tongue against Killua's, making Killua whimper and slip a hand into Gon's thick, ebony hair. He grasped onto it and gently tugged, earning a grunt of Gon. He sucked on Killua's bottom lip as he gently shoved him against the wall next to the sink, feeling his pants grow tighter. Gon pulled away and stared at Killua's swollen, wet lips with half-lidded eyes. He slowly trailed his eyes up from his lips, noticing Killua's flushed cheeks and sparkling, lust-clouded sapphire eyes. Killua looked so hot right now, and Gon wanted to taste every bit of him. 

Gon leaned forward, placing his mouth next to Killua's ear. He gently blew in it before whispering, "Let's take this to the bedroom, yeah?"

Killua shivered in delight and let out a whimper of approval. Gon mischievously smiled and grabbed Killua's hand, leading him out of the bathroom and upstairs to their room. Killua felt his heart skip a beat and flutter around in his chest. He couldn't help the smile that took over his lips and he almost had a skip in his step, feeling all giddy at where this was going. Finally, he'd get what he's wanted for so long. 

Gon swung the door open to their room and dragged Killua inside. Killua quickly rushed to Gon's bed and sat on the edge of it, while Gon closed and locked the door before slowly walking towards his Killua, slipping his shirt off at a teasingly slow pace. Killua felt himself trapped under a spell as he watched Gon reveal his toned upper body, and his erection was straining against his boxers, begging to be freed. 

Gon threw his shirt on the floor without breaking eye contact with Killua. He placed his knees on either side of Killua's hips and placed his hands on his pale chest, gently pushing him down against the mattress. He gently grabbed Killua from under his arms and pulled him up towards the front of the queen-sized bed. Gon ducked his head down and began to nip at Killua's jawline, making Killua tilt his head back to give him better access as he squirmed beneath him. 

"These are gonna need to go," Gon mumbled, moving his hands to the hem of killua's hoodie and gown. He gathered both fabrics in his hands and pulled them up, making Killua instinctively arch his back to help Gon remove them. Gon dropped the items of clothing on the floor, abandoning them. Killua shivered as the cold air attached to his exposed skin. Gon's gaze traveled to the bandages covering every inch of Killua's arms. He placed his index finger on each of his shoulders and gently trailed down to Killua's fingertips. Gon grabbed Killua's left arm and littered kisses all along the length of the limb, soothing Killua's self-made wounds. Gon lifted his head to meet Killua's gaze as he ran his fingers up and down his arms again. "I don't know how to do this," He whispered, bringing Killua's hand to his lips and peppering his knuckles in kisses. 

"I-I'll show you," Killua mumbled.

Gon tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. "You're not a virgin?"

Killua's face burned a bright scarlet as he looked to the side. "No, I am."

"So how do you know what to do?" Gon asked. Killua shook his head, shutting his eyes in embarrassment. "Killua," Gon said softly, "tell me."

Killua nodded and took a deep breath before opening his eyes. "I've.... I've used toys," he admitted. 

Gon's eyes widened. "You... you've used toys on yourself? Like what?" he questioned, genuinely interested. 

Killua felt so embarrassed having Gon hover over him as he asks what toys he uses to pleasure himself. "W-Well... I uh... I use um... I use a d-dildo," Killua whispered, "I use my fingers, I use-"

"Wait," Gon cut him off, "You've used your fingers? Like you've fingered yourself? I thought only girls could do that." 

"W-We can do it, too," Killua mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Gon.

"How was it?" Gon asked, "Did you come?" 

Killua's eyes flared. "U-Um... well y-yeah."

"Really? Did you come from the dildo?" Gon raised an eyebrow, his curiosity getting the best of him. 

Killua shyly nodded. "Mhm."

"Woah. So having something in your ass feels good?"

"Yes, God, yes," Killua groaned, "It feels fucking amazing."

"Really? Hm. So would it feel good if I was in you?" Gon asked, slipping a hand inside Killua's boxers and running it up his thigh. 

Killua lost all composure. "Yes! Yes, please! Do it! Take me!"

Gon's eyes flared at Killua's outburst. "But... but wouldn't it hurt?" he asked, tenderly rubbing the inside of Killua's thigh. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"Yes, at the beginning it hurts but once you've given me time to adjust, it feels amazing," Killua said, his heart beating so loud he feared Gon could hear it.

"Okay, so what do I do?" Gon asked, sitting up on the bed. 

Killua followed him, sitting up in front of him. "You have to prep me first," he said, slipping his boxers off and tossing them to the floor. 

"Alright, how?"

Killua grabbed Gon by his collar and laid back down, pulling Gon back on top of him. "You have to finger me," Killua told him, lifting his leg onto Gon's shoulder. 

"Okay," Gon shrugged. He reached a hand down to Killua's hole but before he could shove his finger in, Killua slapped his hand away. 

"Idiot, you can't do in dry. That'll hurt," Killua rolled his eyes, "Look in that drawer," Killua turned his head and pointed to the nightstand beside his bed, "There should be some heating lube in there."

"Heating lube?" Gon asked, "Like it gets hot?" 

Killua nodded. "It feels really good and makes everything slick and easier to move." 

Gon was unsure. That sounded dangerous. "Why can't I just get you wet like a girl?"

Killua slapped him upside the head. "Because I'm not a girl, idiot! It's fine, Gon. I promise I like it, that's why it's in my nightstand." 

Gon sighed but nodded. "Alright, I trust you," He said as he stood from his bed and walked over to Killua's. He pulled open the first draw of the nightstand and found a bottle of lube. He examined it before shrugging and grabbing it, closing the drawer, and walking back to his bed. Gon crawled on top of Killua and repositioned his leg back on his shoulder.

"Okay, now get some on your fingers, your middle and ring, and stick them in, but slowly! And one at a time," Killua told him.

Gon nodded and opened the bottle, squeezing some onto the fingers he told to. He closed the cap of the bottle and tossed it onto his nightstand, then positioned his fingers at Killua's hole. He looked up at him, waiting for his permission. Killua nodded and watched as Gon slid a finger in. Killua clenched his jaw and quietly whimpered. 

"Does it hurt too bad?" Gon asked, noticing the discomfort on Killua's face.

"N-No," Killua whispered, shaking his head, "Just add another." 

Gon obeyed, knowing Killua knows more about this than he does. He added a second finger and began slowly pump the digits in and out. 

"F-Faster," Killua breathed out. 

Though he didn't want to, Gon moved his fingers slightly faster and curled them, causing Killua's back to arch as he mewled in pleasure. Gon's eyes flared at his reaction and quickly pulled his fingers out. 

Irritated, Killua lifted his head and glared at Gon. "Why did you stop?"

"Does it even feel good?" Gon asked. 

Killua eagerly nodded his head. "What do you think that reaction was? Yes, fuck, keep going."

"Okay." Gon gently pushed his fingers back in, slowly pumping them in and out of Killua. He began to feel the lube warming up and wondered if Killua felt it too. 

"Faster, Gon," Killua panted. 

Gon nodded and moved his fingers a bit faster, still worried that his might be hurting him. "Do you want me to add another?"

Killua's back arched in response. "Please," he whimpered. 

Seeing as Killua was clearly enjoying this, Gon worked his index finger into the mix, pumping his fingers slightly faster, trying to go deeper with each push in. 

"F-Fuck!" Killua gasped, catching Gon's attention, "R-Right there!"

Gon raised an eyebrow. He didn't know what he did, but he tried to do it again. Whatever he did, it made Killua's mouth drop open and a loud moan erupt from this throat. Gon's eyes flared but he continued, wanting to hear sounds like that. Though Gon was still confused. This didn't happen with Violet when he fingered her. 

Suddenly, Killua grabbed Gon's wrist and looked up at him with lidded, teary eyes. "Stick it in me already," he panted. 

Gon blinked at him before slipping his fingers out and pulling his jeans down, along with his boxers. He kicked his shoes and socks off as he tossed the clothes to the floor. 

"Do I need to lube my dick, too?" Gon asked, placing Killua's remaining leg on his other shoulder. 

Killua nodded and reached for the bottle on Gon's nightstand, handing it to Gon. Gon took the lube and popped the cap to squirt some in the palm of his hand. He set the bottle down and began to stroke himself, lubricating his entire length. Biting his lip to hold back any noises, Gon positioned himself at Killua's slightly stretched hole, but before he pushed in, he grabbed Killua's abandoned, twitching dick that lay against his stomach and began to pump him to distract him. Gon slowly slid his tip in, and managed to without Killua crying out in pain, though a few tears did slip down his cheeks. Gon leaned down to kiss them away and continued to gently push in, rubbing his thumb over Killua's slit. Gon swallowed each grunt that formed in his throat from the tight heat surrounding his cock. 

"H-Holy shit," Gon breathed out, "You're, you're so tight." He clenched his teeth to stop him from ramming into Killua. "Holy shit, you feel so good, Killua," Gon praised him, pushing the rest of his length in until he bottomed out. "W-When can I move?"

"Just give it a second," Killua mumbled, his eyes shut tight. 

Gon nodded and slid his hands into Killua's, mindful of his arms and to not do anything too rough with him. Eventually, Killua nodded, giving Gon permission to move. 

Gon slowly pulled out of Killua, and pushed back in just as slow, heavily breathing at the delicious heat swallowing him. "How do you like to be talked to in bed?" Gon asked.

Killua's eyes flared. "W-What?!"

"I-I know you've never been in bed before with someone but how would you like me to talk to you? V-Violet liked dirty talk and said I was good at it," Gon told him, not even realizing he was talking about his girlfriend while he was inside Killua.

Killua brushed it off and grabbed Gon's shoulders. "Faster, please... and be rough with me. Whisper shit in my ear and call me names."

"Are you sure?" 

Killua eagerly nodded his head. "Please." 

"Okay," Gon nodded and stood on his knees to get a better angle, letting go of Killua's hands and grabbing his hips. He gently pulled out and pushed back in faster, trying to make Killua feel as good as possible.

"F-Faster," Killua pleaded, grabbing the pillow that his head laid on. Gon picked up his speed and moved Killua's legs to his waist. Killua looped them around Gon's torso and held tight, making Gon go deeper into his tiny hole. "Mm!" He whimpered, "M-More!"

Gon leaned his body onto Killua's and slid his hands underneath Killua's arched back, holding onto his left hip with his right hand, and his right hip with his left hand. Gon ducked his head into the crook of Killua's neck and began to nip at his jawline, whispering into his ear.

"Mmm," Gon hummed, "Fuck, you feel amazing, baby."

His thrusts quickened and became rougher until he was harshly pounding into Killua, grunting in his ear while Killua was biting his lip to hold back his screams of pleasure.

Gon lifted his head from Killua's neck and looked down on him, smirking. "Oh, you like that?" Gon asked, hearing Killua whimper, "You like how I feel inside you? Let me hear how much you like it."

Killua shook his head, too embarrassed to let Gon hear how vocal he was. Irked, Gon pulled out until the very tip of his head remained, then slammed back in, nailing Killua's prostate dead on. Killua's eyes shot open as his mouth dropped and a scream of pure bliss escaped his throat. 

"Good girl," Gon praised him, grabbing Killua's throat to feel the vibrations of his moans. "You look so pretty under me, princess."

Gon began to feel his first orgasm of the night building in the pit of his stomach. His thrusts became more desperate, erratic, sloppy, as he chased his release. Killua however, was painfully close. He reached a hand down and grabbed his erection, beginning to stroke himself as his back arched further. Gon slapped his hand away and gently held both of them above Killua's head with one hand. 

"I want to be the one to make you come," Gon growled, "Not yourself."

Killua whimpered, his legs furiously trembling. "G-Gon! Please, please!" he begged, his eyes big and teary, and his face flushed and scrunched in pleasure. 

Seeing this flipped a switch inside Gon. He briefly pulled out and unwrapped Killua's legs from his waist, grabbed his hips, and flipped him over on his knees. Killua yelped in surprised, but when he realized what position he was in, he knew he was about to embarrass himself.

Gon slammed back inside Killua, hitting all the right spots, making Killua's eyes roll into the back of his head as his tongue fell out of his mouth. Killua tried to prop himself up, but his shaky arms kept giving out under him. 

"Give me your hands," Gon mumbled. Killua quickly reached one arm behind him, still trying to hold himself up with the other. Gon growled and snatched his other one, gently holding both behind Killua's back, making him face plant into the mattress. Gon adjusted his position to get a better angle and continued to mercilessly ram into Killua, making a moaning mess out of him. "Christ, Killua, I'm about to come," Gon grunted.

Killua used all the strength left inside of him to lift his head up off the mattress and turn it over his shoulder to look at Gon. "I-Inshide!" he drooled, "Come inshide me!"

Gon nodded and drove deeper into Killua, burying himself as far in as he could before spilling his load, filling Killua to the brim. He grabbed Killua's ivory white locks and yanked them back with a loud groan, his hips stuttering and his body trembling. Only seconds later, Killua came as well, shooting out in pearly white ropes onto his stomach and Gon fucked him all the way through it. Killua collapsed on the bed, attempting to roll over on his side so he didn't get his come on the mattress. Gon slowly pulled out, wincing from the sensitivity, and slid off the bed, walking into the bathroom to get a rag. 

Killua felt himself drifting to sleep as Gon came back to their room with a warm, wet rag.

"Hey," Gon whispered, "I'm gonna clean you up, okay? If you're tired you can go to sleep." Gon softly smiled at Killua though his eyes were already halfway shut. Killua sleepily nodded and passed out as Gon began to rub the rag around his abdomen, cleaning off his own mess that he made. After completely cleaning Killua, Gon discarded the rag and crawled into bed with Killua, pulling the boy into his body and tightly hugging him. He pecked Killua's forehead before resting his head on the pillow and falling asleep.


	6. Chapter Six

The next morning, Killua woke up to the intoxicating scent of Gon. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he realized he was face to face with Gon's bare chest. Killua squealed in surprise and jerked his head back, only to realize the rest of Gon was naked as well, and his big, strong arms were wrapped around Killua's slender body. That's when Killua noticed he was naked too. His cheeks flushed as he remembered what happened last night. 

"How embarrassing," Killua mumbled to himself, "I was screaming moans and my body was shaking." Killua lifted a hand and gently placed it on Gon's chest. "I highly doubt I'll be able to walk, he just went so hard last night. I wonder how Violet felt after they fucked."

Killua traced a skinny, pale finger down Gon's toned abdomen, then back up to his chest, admiring his beautiful body. His eyes traveled up to Gon's resting face and he listened to the soft snores that flowed out of his mouth. Killua leaned his head up and planted a gentle kiss on Gon's chin before ducking his head back into Gon's chest, looping his arms around him, and draping his legs over Gon's. 

"I wonder if we're together now," Killua whispered to himself. He sighed and shut his eyes, trying to fall back asleep, praying Gon was his now.

Hours later, after Killua fell asleep, Gon woke up. Careful not to wake Killua, he stayed put and opened his eyes, looking down at the peacefully sleeping boy next to him. He admired his beautiful porcelain face and all his features. Then Gon remembered why he had sex with Killua and a frown etched itself across his face. Killua was surprisingly really good in bed and Gon enjoyed it a lot, but unfortunately for the both of them, Gon didn't want a relationship with Killua.

Gon shifted his head to look at the digital clock on the nightstand. Five thirty-five in the evening. They slept all day. Gon sighed and worked a hand into Killua's fluffy, white hair. An adorable grumble came from Killua as he took his time to open his eyes and fully wake up. He tilted his head backward to look at Gon and smiled, leaning forward to kiss Gon's nose. Gon returned the expression and sat up, bringing Killua with him. He pulled Killua into him, wrapping his arms around his small frame, holding him in a tight embrace, feeling so guilty for using Killua the way he did. 

"Good morning, Gon," Killua giggled, and if it wasn't the most angelic sound Gon heard. It only crushed his heart more. 

"Good morning, Killua," Gon answered, his voice hushed.

Killua felt now was the right time to ask him. "Gon?"

Gon hesitated before answering. "Yes, Killua?"

"Are we..." Killua trailed off, lifting his arms to loosely wrap them around Gon's neck, "Are we together? I'd really like that," he whispered.

Gon frowned and felt a lump form in his throat. He didn't mean to give Killua the wrong idea. Gon gently pushed Killua away by his shoulders and averted his gaze, hesitantly shaking his head, not knowing how to tell Killua the truth without breaking him.

"No... I'm sorry, Killua. I had sex with you to take my mind off of Violet."

Killua felt as if his heart turned to glass and dropped, shattering into a million pieces. He stared into Gon's eyes, tears pooling in his own. His expression was mostly blank, besides the disbelief that etched across his face. Was Gon serious? Was Killua just a toy to Gon? Something to use when he needed an outlet?

"Killua?" Gon asked, trying to find Killua's absent gaze. 

Killua turned away and rose from the bed, his body moving on its own as he walked to his dresser. His body was internally screaming at the pain in his lower back, but his face remained blank, and his throat remained dry. 

Opening his top and second drawer, Killua pulled out a clean pair of boxers, a grey t-shirt, and the same color sweatpants. He slowly dressed himself, his head pounding and his heart clenching. 

Still feeling numb, Killua slowly walked towards the door of their room with an emotionless expression on his face. Gon was so confused. Killua hadn't said a word to him.

Killua placed a hand on the doorknob just as Gon called out to him. "Killua, wait!"

Killua froze, staring at his hand wrapped around the bronze knob. Gon stood from the bed, grabbed a pair of boxers from the pile of clothes on the floor, and slipped them on before walking over to towards the door. He cautiously stood behind Killua, nervous to even open his mouth to talk to him. 

"Killua?"

Killua quickly turned around, extracted his claws, and held them to his own throat. Gon's eyes widened in fear as his body stood frozen.

"Wait, Killua! Just calm down!" Gon panicked, taking a step forward, earning him a daring glare as Killua moved his claws closer to his pale skin. Gon threw his hands up in the air, showing Killua he had no intention of doing anything. "J-Just retract your claws, okay?"

"Why should I?!" Killua snapped, startling Gon and making him jump. "Why the hell should I? Tell me why I shouldn't just kill myself right here!"

The worry building up inside Gon began to override his brain. He fought himself to refrain from taking another step forward. Gon's silence made Killua scoff as he held the sharp claws to his jugular, putting pressure on it, breaking a layer of skin. 

"Wait, Killua, please!" Gon begged, trying so desperately to not lunge forward and tackle him to the ground. 

"Why?!" Killua shouted, jerking his head left and right, "You don't care! You used me! You used me to take your mind off of your fucking dead girlfriend! You had sex with me to take your mind off of her! That's so far beyond fucked up, Gon! Far beyond fucked up! Do you even know how long I've wanted to be with you?! I've been in love with you for four years, Gon! Four! And just when I think I've finally gotten everything I've ever wanted, you tell me that you only used my body for your own selfish reasons!" Stinging tears sat on the edges of Killua's eyes, burning them until it was their turn to race down his cheeks. "So tell me why I shouldn't just kill myself right here!"

Illumi had just walked Hisoka out of the house and was passing by Gon and Killua's room as he was yelling at Gon. Confused as to why there was yelling, Illumi placed his ears on the door, only being able to clearly hear Killua's last sentence. Illumi's eyes flared as he grabbed the doorknob and roughly shook it, trying to pull open the door but it was locked from last night. He raised in first and banged on the door, startling Gon.

"Killua! Gon! Open the door!" Illumi shouted, trying to open it again. 

Killua completely disregarded him and inched his claws across his throat, letting drops of blood rise to the surface of his skin and trickle down his neck, bleeding into the collar of his t-shirt.

"Killua, stop!" Gon shouted, making Illumi frantically shake the doorknob again. 

"Let me in, Gon!" Illumi demanded, his voice breaking from worry. He took a step back and raised his leg, using all his power to kick open the door. He force pushed Killua forward, making him scrape down his throat instead of across. He hissed and turned around, dropping his bloody hand to his side and glaring at the person behind him, only for his expression to break when he saw Illumi's worried face. Illumi rushed to kneel in front of Killua and held him in a tight hug, making sure to trap Killua's arms by his sides so he couldn't move them. 

"B-Big brother..." Killua whispered before sobbing into Illumi's neck.

"Christ, Killua. What the hell's the matter with you?" Illumi breathed out, relieved to have stopped his brother just in time. 

Illumi picked Killua up into his arms and kicked the door shut with his foot. He carried Killua to his bed and laid him on the mattress as Gon followed behind. 

"What happened?" Illumi asked Gon, turning his head over his shoulder to look at him.

"I- We uh- I mean he-" Gon stammered, not knowing how to break the truth to Illumi.

"Yeah, what happened, Gon?" Killua sneered. 

Gon's eyes widened as he locked gazes with Killua. He quickly averted his eyes and plopped down on the edge of his bed, looking down at his feet.

"What happened, Killua?" Illumi asked, turning to look at his brother.

"He used me," Killua replied, glaring at Gon.

"How?" Illumi asked, taking a seat on the edge of Killua's bed.

"He had sex with me to take his mind off his dead girlfriend," Killua grumbled.

"Can you stop saying that she's dead?!" Gon snapped merely seconds after Killua finished his sentence.

"What, you want me to lie and say that she's alive?" Killua asked, rolling his eyes. 

"How fucking dare you," Gon mumbled, looking away.

"How fucking dare _I_?! How fucking dare _you_!" Killua shouted, sitting up on the edge of his bed next to Illumi, facing Gon. Gon's eyes darted to Killua as he continued. "You! You're the one who fucked me for your own selfish reasons! How dare you play with my feelings like that?! You're absolutely disgusting!"

"You made a move on me the day she died! _You're_ disgusting!" Gon shouted back. 

Killua lost his cool. He stood from the bed and attempted to jump Gon but Illumi caught his arm and held him back. 

"I'm disgusting?! Because I kissed you?! It was in the heat of the moment and I didn't think about what I was doing!

You _intentionally_ had sex with me! You knew what you were doing!" Killua growled, narrowing his eyes. He struggled around in Illumi's grip, trying to break loose, but his hold was far too strong for Killua.

"Killua, calm down," Illumi said softly, tightening his grip on Killua's arm. 

"Let me go, Illu. I'm gonna kill him," Killua mumbled, forcing his claws out on the other hand that wasn't being held by Illumi.

"Like you tried to kill yourself?" Gon asked. 

Killua's mouth dropped open as his angry expression quickly transformed to disbelief. 

"Gon!" Illumi scowled, "Shut up! Both of you! Killua, go to my room!" He turned around and pushed Killua towards the door.

Killua slowly trudged out of their room and upstairs to Illumi's. Illumi turned his attention to Gon and clenched his jaw. "You're fucking disgusting."

He shook his head and left the room, following Killua up to his own. Illumi stepped into the dark room and found Killua lying on his stomach with his face buried in Illumi's pillow, loudly sobbing. The older frowned and quietly shut the door behind him. He slowly made his way to the black silhouette on his bed and sat on the edge of it, placing a loving, gentle hand on Killua's back and rubbing circles around on it.

"I-I-Illumi!" Killua wailed, sitting up and falling into his brother's arms. 

"Shh, I know, I know," Illumi whispered, stroking the back of Killua's hair. 

"How could he be so mean?!" Killua cried, his knuckles turning white from his tight grip on the back of Illumi's shirt, "What do I do?! I've lost Gon! The one I've been in love with for so long!"

"I'll think of something," Illumi promised, "You'll get Gon. You'll be happy with him, I'll make sure of that no matter what."

Illumi slowly rocked back and forth as he held Killua until he didn't hear his cries anymore. He lifted a handful of Killua's bangs, seeing his eyes were shut and he was asleep. Illumi gently laid Killua on his bed and stood so he could pull the covers and blankets over him. Illumi sauntered over to his dresser and pulled open the first drawer and reached in, pulling out the wooden box of needles. He unlatched it and dug through his needles, pulling out a golden pin. Illumi held it tightly as he placed his hand on the doorknob and quietly left the dimly lit red room. He strolled downstairs and stopped in front of Gon and Killua's room, humming a soft tune. He swung the door open, ready to see Gon, only to realize he wasn't there. 

"That little bastard, where is he?" Illumi growled, pulling out his phone and calling Ging, "Where the fuck is your disappointment of a son?" he asked the second Ging answered the phone. 

"I- What the hell?" Ging asked, not expecting Illumi to already be cursing at him, "What happened?"

"I'm about to kill him. Where is he?" Illumi repeated himself, slamming Gon and Killua's door shut and angrily walking down the hallway. 

"Illumi, why are you slamming doors? And why are you trying to kill him?" Ging sighed, moving a chess piece on the board in front of him as he situated himself on the floor he was sitting on in his room. 

"Because he fucking used Killua. He had sex with him to forget about Violet," Illumi almost shouted, taking a glance outside and noticing the early orange and blue sunset.

"He- Are you serious? He's all yours?" Ging said, throwing his free hand up in the air.

"Where is he?"

"He's in my room."

Without answering, Illumi hung up and huffed as he trudged to Ging's room on the first floor, passing by Alluka on his way. 

"Hi, big broth-" 

"Shut it," Illumi cut her off, not sparing her a glance as he stormed past her. Alluka just blinked at the air and shrugged, continuing her journey back to her room. 

Illumi placed a hand on the door to Ging's room and threw it open, making Gon whip his head over his shoulder and look at Illumi. He walked over to Gon, crouched down beside him, and raised his hand in a fist, striking Gon across the face and knocking him out. Gon fell onto his back on the carpeted floor, unconscious. Illumi picked him up into his arms and left the room, no words being exchanged between him or Ging.

Illumi walked upstairs to the second floor and pushed up the door of Gon and Killua's room. He threw Gon onto his bed and scoffed as he dug the thin, gold pin with curved ends out of his pocket. He took a step back from Gon and held the needle in the air, aiming it at Gon's forehead. In the blink of an eye, the pin was inside Gon's head with no sign of damage on the outside of his skin. Gon immediately jolted awake, jerking his head left and right, frantically looking for someone. His wandering eyes landed on Illumi. 

"Where's Killua?"


	7. Chapter Seven

"Where's Killua?" Gon frantically asked Illumi.

"He's in my roo-" Illumi started, but before he could finish, Gon was already out of his own room, rushing upstairs to Illumi's. 

Gon busted through the door, making Killua jolt awake. Gon rushed over to the bed and pounced on top of Killua, wrapping the boy in his arms and planting quick, slopping kisses all over his face. 

"G-Gon! Get off of me!" Killua shouted, pushing Gon by his chest.

"But Killuahhh~!" Gon whined, littering tons of kisses on his forehead, "I love youuu~!"

Killua's eyes widened as he pushed Gon away again. "H-Huh?"

"Killuahhh~! I love youuuuu~!" Gon beamed, bending his knees and straddling Killua's hips, ducking his head down into Killua's neck and kissing every inch of porcelain skin, including where Killua's claws scraped. "I.. Love.. You.. Killua!" Gon squealed, separating each word with a kiss. "Killua.. Is so.. Pretty!" Gon instinctively praised Killua as his hands from the hem of Killua's t-shirt and began to pull it up. 

"W-Wait! Gon, stop! N-Not in Illumi's room! And stop touching me!" Killua shrieked, covering his flushed face with his small, pale hands. 

Gon smiled into Killua's neck as he began to gently nip at it, making Killua squirm beneath him. He lifted his head and nibbled on Killua's earlobe, whispering, "But I can't keep my hands of you."

Killua shivered, goosebumps rising to the surface of his skin. He nodded his head, understanding Gon's motives. As much as Killua hated him right now and wanted to turn him down, he also wanted to be penetrated by that long, thick rod, and feel it splitting him open. 

Gon grabbed Killua's hand and pulled both of them off the bed. He quickly dragged Killua to their room, passing by Illumi on their way downstairs. Illumi smirks and puffed air out of his nose as he smirked, watching Gon and Killua rush into their room and slam the door shut, hearing the click of a lock the second afterward. 

Gon picked Killua up, making Killua subconsciously wrap his legs around Gon's waist. Gon carried him to his bed and gently laid the boy down on it as he began to nip at his jawline. Gon briefly flicked his eyes up to catch a glimpse of Killua's flushed face and slightly parted lips, listening to his heavy pants before getting back to his task. Needy whimpers were heard through the room as Gon slid his hands up Killua's shirt and thumbed at his nipples, feeling them harden at his touch. 

Gon lifted his head from below Killua's chin and planted a quick kiss on his nose. "Killua is so hot. So, so hot," he purred, "Makes me wanna give him what he's been so desperate for." 

Killua let out a whine of approval and mindlessly bucked his hips up into Gon's, earning him a low grunt. Killua grabbed Gon's face and pulled him down into a heated kiss, tongues battling and saliva exchanging. Gon's hands grasped at the hem of Killua's t-shirt and began to lift it up with the help of Killua arching his back off of the mattress and briefly pulling his mouth away from Gon's to allow him to remove it. Gon hungrily eyed Killua's body and licked across his bottom lip, wanting to devour him, one kiss at a time. He began to greedily feel up Killua's body, every inch of skin that he could see, earning whines and whimpers from the submissive below him. 

"Fuck," Killua breathed out when Gon lowered his head and dragged his tongue up Killua's abdomen to his chest, "fuck, yes." 

Gon teasingly tugged on the waistband of Killua's sweatpants as he twirled his tongue around a perky, pink nipple, making Killua's breath hitch. Killua's hands flew to Gon's hair and tightly gripped it, gently tugging at the thick, wiry locks. Gon hummed, pushing one hand down on Killua's pelvis while the other palmed Killua through his sweatpants. Killua bucked his hips into Gon's hands, desperate for more friction, making him whine and drop his head back.

"Stop teasing. Please," Killua panted, feeling Gon abandon his left nipple and move to the other, dancing his tongue around that one too. 

"Teasing?" Gon asked, feigning innocence, "I'm not teasing. I'm simply turning you on."

"I'm already there Gon, just hurry up," Killua begged, "Please, I can't take it anymore. I need you, please."

"Mmm," Gon hummed against his chest, vibrating his nipple, "So desperate. Patience, Killua."

"Gon, please. I can't," the smaller pleaded.

Gon lifted his head from Killua's chest and cupped his cheeks, straddling him as he leaned down for a kiss. Killua eagerly kissed him back, desperate for any type of touch he could get. Gon reached a hand down to give Killua's erection some more attention, making Killua's back arch into Gon. He pulled away from Gon's mouth and looked up at him with needy, pleading eyes. 

"M-More..." Killua whispered, bucking into Gon's hand. 

Gon lifted his hand into the air away from Killua's arousal, earning a whine out of the boy below him. "Do you think you're in charge here?" Gon asked, slotting a knee in between Killua's legs, teasingly pressing onto his groin.

Killua quickly shook his head. "N-No! I'm sorry!"

"Good boy," Gon praised him, his voice smooth and sensual. A shiver ran down Killua's spine at the praise.

"Thank you..." Killua whispered shyly. 

Gon pulled his knee away from Killua's erection and sat back on the bed in Indian style. Confused, Killua followed and sat up in front of Gon.

"You said you've used dildos on yourself before, right?" Gon asked, a smirk forming on his lips. 

Killua's eyes flared as he hesitantly nodded, thinking to himself, 'Oh God, where is this going?'

"Where is it?" Gon interrogated. 

Killua slowly lifted a hand and pointed under his bed. Gon's smirk grew as he bed and crouched next to Killua's, ducking his head to look under it. He found a black box that looked to be almost the same size as a shoebox. Gon pulled it out from under the bed and opened it, finding a transparent, glittery, eight-inch dildo with a rather large curve. Gon's eyes darkened as he grabbed it and slid the box back underneath the bed. He crawled back on top of his bed and set the toy in front of Killua. Killua eyed him nervously, wondering what Gon was thinking. Gon leaned his back against the wall and folded his arms over his chest and crossed his right ankle over his left. 

"Fuck yourself while I watch," Gon said casually. 

Killua almost choked on his saliva. "D-Do what?!"

"I said fuck yourself while I watch," Gon repeated, smirking at Killua. 

"D-Do I have t-"

"Yes," Gon cut him off.

Killua swallowed hard, his eyes taking turns glancing at Gon, then the dildo, then back at Gon. 

"Go on, strip," Gon insisted, lazily waving his hand at Killua. 

Killua hesitantly nodded and slipped his thumbs into the waistband of his sweats and boxers, slowly pulling them down together. He kicked them off of his foot, letting his beautiful, curved, slender, porcelain body be completely exposed, all for Gon to see. Gon hungrily licked his lips, wanting to drag his tongue over every segment of that precious, fragile body. 

Killua nervously grabbed the silicone dildo in front of him and glanced over at Gon as he leaned down over his knees, opening his mouth and wrapping his legs around the thick head. He trailed his tongue down the shaft and swirled it around the width of it, lubricating it so it wouldn't go in dry.

Gon watched in amazement as Killua pushed his head down, shoving five thick inches of the toy in his mouth. Killua brought his head back up and flicked his tongue over the tip one last time before forcing his head all the way down, making the dildo hit the back of his throat. Killua gagged a little and came back up, tears pooling in his eyes. If he had to do this in front of Gon, he might as well put on a show. 

Killua pushed his head back down, whimpering at the feeling of being choked by his toy. He gripped the base of the dildo with one hand, holding it in place, while the other hand trailed below him to his very angry and throbbing erection. Killua gathered the precome dripping from his tip and used it to lubricate his fingers. He positioned his hand behind him at slowly worked a finger into his twitching, needy hole. Whining and biting his lip, Killua's eyes fluttered open and shut as he lazily lifted his head to find Gon's gaze while he fingered himself.

Gon watched intently, his erection throbbing at the sight of Killua finger-fucking himself. Killua shoved a second finger in, scissoring his small hole, reshaping it to fit the large toy. Gon shifted on the bed and subconsciously slipped a hand down to his arousal. He began to slowly rub his thumb against it but immediately stopped himself, wanting to make himself suffer as he watched Killua. 

Killua added a third finger and whimpered a moan against the dildo as he quickly bobbed his head up and down. His saliva poured down all the sides of the object, so Killua figured it was lubricated enough by now. He pulled away from the dildo and slipped his fingers out of his hole, dropping his arm on the bed. Killua moved the thick toy behind him and pushed the tip against his pulsing, puckered entrance. Slowly, Killua pushed the tip in, whining out in pleasure as his velvety walls clenched around it and he face-planted into the mattress. 

Gon so desperately to pounce on top of Killua and pound into him at that very moment, and Killua lifting his head from the mattress, looking at Gon with lidded bedroom eyes, a flushed face, a drooling, open mouth, and a scrunched up nose wasn't helping him at all. 

Killua pumped the dildo in and out at a steady pace, gradually getting faster each time. His whimpers and whines increased until he was gasping moans, his eyes partly rolling back. He was quickly reaching his limit far too early but wanted to hold it off to keep the show going for Gon. Though that didn't stop him from snaking a hand under his arched, trembling body and wrapping it around his throbbing cock. He began to quickly stroke himself in sync with his thrusts to add to the pleasure. 

"Oh... oh, yes~!" Killua moaned, a big, open-mouthed smile of satisfaction taking over his lips as thrust the toy into his prostate. Killua's pale skin glistened with sweat, making him look like a shiny present just for Gon. "Oh, fuck yeah~! Mmm, Gon!"

Hearing his name being called in such a way drove Gon insane. He wanted to tackle Killua and shove his own cock inside, along with the dildo, but somehow kept his composure and sat still, watching Killua with darkened eyes. Killua's eyes, on the other hand, had twinkling stars in them. The pleasure made Killua's body weaken the more he pressed against his sweet spot. It made everything slow down, and Killua hated slow. He desired rough and fast. 

He looked up at Gon with teary, starry eyes full of need. "Can you help me?"

This was Gon's chance. Eagerly, he nodded his head and crawled behind Killua. He quickly yanked his pants and boxers down and threw his shirt off, tossing all the items of clothing to the floor. Gon pulled the dildo out of Killua and wasted no time in shoving his own cock in, already thrusting at a fast pace. His hands gripped Killua's waist, digging his nails into the porcelain skin. Gon nailed Killua's prostate with each harsh thrust, making Killua cry out in pleasure as he gripped the sheets in front of him. 

"Fuck," Gon growled, "I've been dying over there. God, you're so beautiful, Killua. So fucking hot." 

Killua's blush spread to his chest as Gon pulled his hips up, giving him a better view at what he was slamming into and making Killua hold himself up with his arms. Killua was already tilting on edge, feeling so full and dizzy. 

"M-More!" Killua cried out, "F-Fuck me more! G-Grab my hair and f-fuck me like a dog, dammit!"

Gon's eyes flared at Killua's pleas but he immediately complied, extending an arm in front of him and grabbing a handful of Killua's fluffy, ivory locks. Gon yanked them back as he slammed into Killua, making the submissive gasp in pure bliss as his mind went blank and he spilled his load onto the sheets below him.

"Oh fuck, it's so good," Gon grunted, dropping his head back, fucking Killua through his intense orgasm. 

Killua babbled incoherent pleas as he tried to push back against Gon to meet his thrusts, his tight walls squeezing around Gon's length, triggering the dom's climax. 

"F-Fuck, Killua," Gon growled, his hips stuttering as he released deep inside Killua, his cock furiously throbbing against his tight walls. Gon remained buried inside him until he came down from his orgasmic high.

Lazily, he pulled out of Killua and plopped down on the bed beside him. Killua immediately collapsed, falling asleep the second his head hit the pillow. Gon brushed Killua's bangs up out of his eyes with his hand and kissed his forehead. He stood from the bed, dressed himself in a pair of clean boxers, and stumbled to the bathroom, wetting a rag with warm water and coming back to his sleeping beauty. Gon gently rolled Killua over on his back and slowly rubbed the rag around on his stomach, cleaning him of the mess he made. Gon moved the rag down to Killua's butt and cleaned up his own mess. 

After taking care of Killua, Gon gently picked him up into his arms and carried him to his own bed so Gon could change the sheets. He peeled the fluffy, white sheets off of his bed and dropped them on the floor. Gon walked over to his closet and stood on his tippy toes, pulling the same type of sheets and covers off the shelf. He carried them over to his bed and began to quietly make it, hoping to not wake Killua. 

Finally, Gon finished with his bed and carried Killua back over to it. He cuddled up next to the sleeping boy under the clean covers and kissed the back of Killua's neck. "I love you," he mumbled, looping his arms around Killua's slender waist. Gon nuzzled his face against his soft white hair, feeling his eyes getting heavier before he drifted to sleep.


End file.
